When I started this blog I figured it would eventually have an ending. A happy ending. At least an ending that would bring closure and allow me to open a new era in my life. Maybe I'd end this blog and start a new one to begin a new book in my life. Not a new chapter but a new book. A new beginning. A new era.
Unfortunately I haven't started that new book. At least not yet. I'm still writing the chapters to this one. I've closed out a lot of things in my life and put so much behind me. I've moved on and moved forward which is a big step.
I thought the last line ever entered in this blog would be: "And the Pope and Sophia live happily ever after."
For whatever reason it didn't end that way. Sophia, like Rebecca, Violet and the Colombian ex, she's gone. Only God, or whoever is in charge, knows why. I'm disappointed things didn't work out or go as planned. Of course I was a little hurt too but things never got to deep with her. I liked her and cared, still care a bit, about her. Such is life.
So I've put the Sophia chapter of my life to rest. She joins those other women on the scrap heap.
What's next? I don't know.
Besides Sophia I closed out one other chapter. I'm completed the two year recovery program my job put me on after my DWI. It was stupid and they came down harder on me than the law. Like I did with probation, I did what I had to in order to keep my life intact. The program was mandatory and I had to comply or get fired. Probation required me to take a six week class, attend AA twice a week and don't drive for a year. Work required me to see a counselor, attend AA, take intensive randoms, complete abstinence and also see a therapist for depression. I survived both.
I'm still subject to random piss tests at work. According to the nurse my name goes into a bigger pool of names for the next three years. She said those names are called very infrequent. I averaged one test a month although sometimes it would be two or three in a month. Other times I'd go a while without one. The longest I went without my name called was three months. This month they've nailed me three times. It's truly random.
So that's where I'm at today. Closure and endings bringing on new beginnings.
I stated when I started writing that this was my little melodrama. It still is until the day I end it. With every melodrama comes a back story. With nothing going on in my life it might be time to tell mine.
Until next time,
The Pope
Friday, May 21, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Just As I Feared
Will's father passed away over the weekend. I knew it was only a matter of time but still I was saddened by the news.
Will's dad always remembered by as Will's drunk friend. Long story short, it goes back to a party at Will's sisters house where I just sat quietly drinking beer. I never got wasted or loud. I just sat there drinking beer and bullshitting with Will's dad. He thought it was fun and we had a good old time. According to Will, his dad never forgot that day. His dad was always asking about The Pope, The Drunk Guy.
In retrospect it's funnier now. Right around my legal woes and depression, Will's father asked how I was doing. Will didn't tell him anything about my DWI.
He just said,"Dad he doesn't drink anymore."
"Aaah, like your drunk little cousin, they caught him drinking and driving? Didn't they?"
In a dark moment, despite my depression and situation, Will's dad's simple question and inquiry made me laugh. Despite my situation, I appreciated the thought, the understanding and the humor which he showed the situation.
One more story in remembrance of Will's old man. I wasn't in the car that day but he picked up Will and a bunch of our friends up after school. We were in middle school at the time and the guys had gotten a hold of a Playboy or Penthouse. They were in the backseat looking at it and laughing. Finally after a while, Will's dad just stopped and said,"I don't know what you have back there but there is a lot of giggling going on. Whatever it is it better have tits!"
So long sir. You left an imprint on my life through your humor and understanding of me. Also you brought a true friend into my life through your son Will. Will is a living testimony to your hard work and way of life. Me and Will grew up on the same street and went to school from elementary all the way to the University. In my darkest hour, he was one of the people who came through for me in a huge way.
Rest in peace. I'm praying for strength and comfort for your family. I know all your children and be proud you raised them well.
God Bless,
The Pope
Will's dad always remembered by as Will's drunk friend. Long story short, it goes back to a party at Will's sisters house where I just sat quietly drinking beer. I never got wasted or loud. I just sat there drinking beer and bullshitting with Will's dad. He thought it was fun and we had a good old time. According to Will, his dad never forgot that day. His dad was always asking about The Pope, The Drunk Guy.
In retrospect it's funnier now. Right around my legal woes and depression, Will's father asked how I was doing. Will didn't tell him anything about my DWI.
He just said,"Dad he doesn't drink anymore."
"Aaah, like your drunk little cousin, they caught him drinking and driving? Didn't they?"
In a dark moment, despite my depression and situation, Will's dad's simple question and inquiry made me laugh. Despite my situation, I appreciated the thought, the understanding and the humor which he showed the situation.
One more story in remembrance of Will's old man. I wasn't in the car that day but he picked up Will and a bunch of our friends up after school. We were in middle school at the time and the guys had gotten a hold of a Playboy or Penthouse. They were in the backseat looking at it and laughing. Finally after a while, Will's dad just stopped and said,"I don't know what you have back there but there is a lot of giggling going on. Whatever it is it better have tits!"
So long sir. You left an imprint on my life through your humor and understanding of me. Also you brought a true friend into my life through your son Will. Will is a living testimony to your hard work and way of life. Me and Will grew up on the same street and went to school from elementary all the way to the University. In my darkest hour, he was one of the people who came through for me in a huge way.
Rest in peace. I'm praying for strength and comfort for your family. I know all your children and be proud you raised them well.
God Bless,
The Pope
Friday, May 7, 2010
And Now the Friends
Yesterday's post was my life.
So what's going on around me? A lot.
Binks, my bestest friend EVAR, disappeared on me for a while. He basically got railroaded at work. They tried to terminate him for nothing. Since they didn't have crap on him they made his life miserable in hopes of him quitting. He's stronger and better than that. So they demoted him and moved him to a remote school. Reducing his pay was the final straw. He works a second job. He talked to them and they agreed to hire him full time and raise his pay. He resigned his old job and then I lost track of him. While he gets back on his feet from the change of jobs, he turned off his phones and internet. The other night he sent me a text to call him at his job. He's okay and will get his stuff together soon. Then we plan on hitting the lake for a week of fishing in July.
A couple of weekends ago another friend sent me an IM through Facebook. I see him online all the time but he never IMs. I could tell he was down. He asked how my drunk ass was doing. I said fine. I didn't correct him and fill him in about my bout of alcohol abuse and sobriety. He's seen me at my finest drunk and I didn't feel like explaining all that went down over the years. Anyway, we chatted a while and I promised to go visit him once things get settled down at work. I have plenty of friends in Austin that I want to see. I'm gonna make it a rocking weekend this summer.
In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, me and my friend Will, both of us are barrio Mexicans from San Antonio, went out to eat Mediterranean food. Go figure. We laughed our asses off about it. His father has been sick for a while. I asked how his dad was doing. Not good. His sister had called and their father took a turn for the worst. Surgery is no longer an option since he probably won't survive it. Will told me it was only a matter of time. They are all gathering this weekend to see him.
Another friend's father, Swami as I call him, also has been sick over the years. How the old man is still alive is beyond me. He's a tough old bird and hangs in there. As sick as he is, they opted to do bypass surgery on him this week. I was honestly scared to death for him and the family. His father pulled through. Like Will's dad, I didn't think Swami's dad was strong enough for surgery. He did and I'm grateful for them. Still I believe it's a matter of time.
I pray for all my friends. I have other friends fighting depression, alcohol abuse and other problems. I'm grateful for how far I've come. My journey to happiness took 41 years. Along they way I learned that only I can give myself true happiness and contentment. Not God, not family, not friends and not the job can give me that. They can support me in all kinds of ways but until I learned to come to grips with my alcoholism and depression, nobody else could change me.
That's where me and my friends are in life right now. Not all are struggling with issues but there isn't much to write about those who don't. In fact, I plan on spending some down time in a couple of weeks with a couple of my more stable friends. That's just how live rolls...take care.
The Wonderfully Holistic Holy Pope Ivan Paulus III
So what's going on around me? A lot.
Binks, my bestest friend EVAR, disappeared on me for a while. He basically got railroaded at work. They tried to terminate him for nothing. Since they didn't have crap on him they made his life miserable in hopes of him quitting. He's stronger and better than that. So they demoted him and moved him to a remote school. Reducing his pay was the final straw. He works a second job. He talked to them and they agreed to hire him full time and raise his pay. He resigned his old job and then I lost track of him. While he gets back on his feet from the change of jobs, he turned off his phones and internet. The other night he sent me a text to call him at his job. He's okay and will get his stuff together soon. Then we plan on hitting the lake for a week of fishing in July.
A couple of weekends ago another friend sent me an IM through Facebook. I see him online all the time but he never IMs. I could tell he was down. He asked how my drunk ass was doing. I said fine. I didn't correct him and fill him in about my bout of alcohol abuse and sobriety. He's seen me at my finest drunk and I didn't feel like explaining all that went down over the years. Anyway, we chatted a while and I promised to go visit him once things get settled down at work. I have plenty of friends in Austin that I want to see. I'm gonna make it a rocking weekend this summer.
In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, me and my friend Will, both of us are barrio Mexicans from San Antonio, went out to eat Mediterranean food. Go figure. We laughed our asses off about it. His father has been sick for a while. I asked how his dad was doing. Not good. His sister had called and their father took a turn for the worst. Surgery is no longer an option since he probably won't survive it. Will told me it was only a matter of time. They are all gathering this weekend to see him.
Another friend's father, Swami as I call him, also has been sick over the years. How the old man is still alive is beyond me. He's a tough old bird and hangs in there. As sick as he is, they opted to do bypass surgery on him this week. I was honestly scared to death for him and the family. His father pulled through. Like Will's dad, I didn't think Swami's dad was strong enough for surgery. He did and I'm grateful for them. Still I believe it's a matter of time.
I pray for all my friends. I have other friends fighting depression, alcohol abuse and other problems. I'm grateful for how far I've come. My journey to happiness took 41 years. Along they way I learned that only I can give myself true happiness and contentment. Not God, not family, not friends and not the job can give me that. They can support me in all kinds of ways but until I learned to come to grips with my alcoholism and depression, nobody else could change me.
That's where me and my friends are in life right now. Not all are struggling with issues but there isn't much to write about those who don't. In fact, I plan on spending some down time in a couple of weeks with a couple of my more stable friends. That's just how live rolls...take care.
The Wonderfully Holistic Holy Pope Ivan Paulus III
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Busy But Happy
I've been busy as anyone can imagine since February but I'm not complaining.
I had a two month project at work that was very stressful, tedious, frustrating and at times scary. Despite the negative, it was also a very good experience, interesting and in the end I benefited greatly from it. The scariest part was about a thousand people's lively hoods, including my own, were in the hands of about 20 people. I work in a Union site and was involved in negotiating a new deal for my Union. In the end, we struck a fair deal and I can sleep at night knowing we didn't get screwed. In this economy, that is a big accomplishment. And three years from now, I will do this again.
I planned on taking some time off from work once the deal was official. That idea lasted about two days after my return. I was called into a supervisors office and asked if I would be willing to take a temp assignment for a month. Another department was shorthanded and they needed extra people. First question out of my mouth, can I work overtime? The Big Boss Lady said sure. Work all you can get. I then put my union rep hat on and started asking questions on the selection process to make sure it was done fair. Three others are going with me.
I don't live and die on overtime. It's nice to have and definitely inflates my income by a princely sum. Sadly, some of my coworkers need the overtime. They really get in a bind if they don't have it. I don't feel sorry for them. Without overtime, we make a very good wage. So many get in hock buying big houses on big lots, deer leases, big boats and so on. They want to live the high life but get so in debt they can no longer live on our base salary.
I have one friend who can't pay his regular bills without overtime. Thank God I don't live like that. He can't pay the mortgage and car note without the extra money. I find that unreal. While he went two months without overtime, he had to borrow one month worth of mortgage and car payments to tide him over. Yet this same person spent a month in the Bahamas and then after complaining about no overtime, ran of on a shopping spree for a weekend. Sorry but no sympathy from me.
Me, on the other hand, use the overtime to pay for my fun stuff and to keep out of debt. If there is no overtime and there is something I want, I might dig into my savings account but eventually I'll pay it back. For instance, I've been wanting a new guitar lately. At first it was going to be my Christmas gift. Then I got started on other things. Finally, my birthday rolled around in March and I was getting no overtime. I decided that I've been working hard for six weeks. I needed something to help me unwind besides strippers. One an off day, I went down to the music store and bought a scary looking one. And I love it.
Any vacation I plan will be paid with by overtime. Right now I'm waiting for a couple of loans I took against my 401(k) to come off. I took one to help me pay my legal expenses. When they come off, that's $600 a month back on my pay check.
I'm busting up the overtime right now though. It's one of two reasons I took on the temp assignment. The other reason is to do different things and change the monotony of my real job. 26 hours overtime and 12 hours double time last check. If things stay on target, it's 38.5 overtime hours this next up coming check. Baby, I've already written a check to drop off at the credit union in the morning where I keep my savings account. I keep the savings and checking accounts in separate institutions on purpose. I found it was to easy to transfer money from savings to checking in the same bank.
My social life has been no existent. During the negotiations, I was going to lunch with my fellow negotiators. A couple of times we went to dinner. That part of it was fun.
Then since I was working in Rebecca's neighborhood, I saw her a few times. Then my buddy Will and I hit the dinner circuit occasionally. I've really had more than two consecutive days off this year so I pretty much turn into a homebody. I'd rather just stay home and rest.
This week I broke the routine. I didn't go out with Rebecca when she called. Hell she was just checking up on me since I've been a rare site. But me and Will went out to celebrate Cinco de Mayo last night. Today I had union business so before I did that, I picked up my cousin and we went to an early dinner. Earlier in the day, I did a solid work out and then spent the afternoon at the pool. While if feel tired, I don't feel worn down.
Tomorrow I'll fill in the lives that are my friends.
Good Night,
Your Ever Loving Jewish Pope JP3
I had a two month project at work that was very stressful, tedious, frustrating and at times scary. Despite the negative, it was also a very good experience, interesting and in the end I benefited greatly from it. The scariest part was about a thousand people's lively hoods, including my own, were in the hands of about 20 people. I work in a Union site and was involved in negotiating a new deal for my Union. In the end, we struck a fair deal and I can sleep at night knowing we didn't get screwed. In this economy, that is a big accomplishment. And three years from now, I will do this again.
I planned on taking some time off from work once the deal was official. That idea lasted about two days after my return. I was called into a supervisors office and asked if I would be willing to take a temp assignment for a month. Another department was shorthanded and they needed extra people. First question out of my mouth, can I work overtime? The Big Boss Lady said sure. Work all you can get. I then put my union rep hat on and started asking questions on the selection process to make sure it was done fair. Three others are going with me.
I don't live and die on overtime. It's nice to have and definitely inflates my income by a princely sum. Sadly, some of my coworkers need the overtime. They really get in a bind if they don't have it. I don't feel sorry for them. Without overtime, we make a very good wage. So many get in hock buying big houses on big lots, deer leases, big boats and so on. They want to live the high life but get so in debt they can no longer live on our base salary.
I have one friend who can't pay his regular bills without overtime. Thank God I don't live like that. He can't pay the mortgage and car note without the extra money. I find that unreal. While he went two months without overtime, he had to borrow one month worth of mortgage and car payments to tide him over. Yet this same person spent a month in the Bahamas and then after complaining about no overtime, ran of on a shopping spree for a weekend. Sorry but no sympathy from me.
Me, on the other hand, use the overtime to pay for my fun stuff and to keep out of debt. If there is no overtime and there is something I want, I might dig into my savings account but eventually I'll pay it back. For instance, I've been wanting a new guitar lately. At first it was going to be my Christmas gift. Then I got started on other things. Finally, my birthday rolled around in March and I was getting no overtime. I decided that I've been working hard for six weeks. I needed something to help me unwind besides strippers. One an off day, I went down to the music store and bought a scary looking one. And I love it.
Any vacation I plan will be paid with by overtime. Right now I'm waiting for a couple of loans I took against my 401(k) to come off. I took one to help me pay my legal expenses. When they come off, that's $600 a month back on my pay check.
I'm busting up the overtime right now though. It's one of two reasons I took on the temp assignment. The other reason is to do different things and change the monotony of my real job. 26 hours overtime and 12 hours double time last check. If things stay on target, it's 38.5 overtime hours this next up coming check. Baby, I've already written a check to drop off at the credit union in the morning where I keep my savings account. I keep the savings and checking accounts in separate institutions on purpose. I found it was to easy to transfer money from savings to checking in the same bank.
My social life has been no existent. During the negotiations, I was going to lunch with my fellow negotiators. A couple of times we went to dinner. That part of it was fun.
Then since I was working in Rebecca's neighborhood, I saw her a few times. Then my buddy Will and I hit the dinner circuit occasionally. I've really had more than two consecutive days off this year so I pretty much turn into a homebody. I'd rather just stay home and rest.
This week I broke the routine. I didn't go out with Rebecca when she called. Hell she was just checking up on me since I've been a rare site. But me and Will went out to celebrate Cinco de Mayo last night. Today I had union business so before I did that, I picked up my cousin and we went to an early dinner. Earlier in the day, I did a solid work out and then spent the afternoon at the pool. While if feel tired, I don't feel worn down.
Tomorrow I'll fill in the lives that are my friends.
Good Night,
Your Ever Loving Jewish Pope JP3
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