Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!

There is some stuff going on with my friends but I'm to lazy today to bring everything up to date.

Mostly working my ass off. 4 night shifts, one day off and then 7 days in a row. All are 12 hour shifts. It will be worth it though when I get m check Friday. I worked 36 hours of overtime on top of my regular schedule (granted that was what like two days?). I took the plunge and decided to work Christmas Eve and Christmas for the holiday pay and it worked out that Christmas day shift was also my automatic double time day regardless of the holiday...so I ended up banking close to triple time.

That's why I've written previously that no matter how much I can bitch about my job...it's just that...bitching. I have it made and I'm pretty much set for life. Rebecca marvels at my benefits, has an idea of my pay and just reminds me sometimes of how good I have it when I start my bitching.

Oh and I picked up a new squeeze before my working marathon. More about that in my next post.

Next week I head out of town to see my brother, attend my University's bowl game and bring in the New Year at Dallas area strip club....or with Rebecca. We'll see.

And the Depression Broke. Sophia Update

Like a Fart Breaking in the Wind, My Depression Disappeared
I don't know what it was. The night of my last entry I decided to go out with Rebecca to dinner. From that night on I've felt 100% better.

Of course I was very active that weekend. I had the dinner with Rebecca that night. Then I had Thanksgiving dinner with her and her daughter at their house along with some of Rebecca's guests. I say guests cause I still believe she's the friendless person. She admits as much to me. I might join her for Christmas too.

Hey Sal, thanks for the kind words in the comment section. That means a lot to me especially coming from you. You're just as beautiful.

Ah yes, as Sal calls her, the lovely and talented Sophia!

The Lovely, Talented, Allergic Sophia
I've been in much more frequent contact with Sophia the last couple of months. At least calls twice a week. I'm not a phone person so two calls is a lot in my book. My shift work is keeping me from seeing her lately. The week we did have plans she was sick.

So okay this will happen. I know it will. I will see her and try to win her heart all over again.

So here we go. It's Thanksgiving Week and I try calling a couple of times. No answer. I sent a text message. No reply. I'm thinking something is wrong. She will at least respond in some way.

The weekend passes and I'm concerned now. On my way to work the evening shift, I sent her a text. As usual she calls me when she's leaving work when I text her. I asked her if something was wrong over the weekend. Yup there was. She works as a medical tech and uses latex gloves. She's allergic to latex. In the past, she'd get a rash, put whatever they gave her on it and it went away. On Saturday night she ended up in the emergency room because the reaction was so severe. She was told that from now on each reaction will get worse and it could eventually kill her. I told her when I didn't hear from her that I knew something was wrong.

And on that note, a song that reminds me of lovely and talented Sophia.

INXS - Beautiful Girl
by cha_bichon

The Depression is Official

I can't shake it. I took the day off from work cause I knew I'd be out late last night. It took a lot of will power to get out of bed...at 1:00 p.m.

My place is cluttered and I need to clean it up. I have laundry piled a mile high. I have a dinner date with Rebecca tonight. And I'm not in the mood to do any of it.

I thought about calling Rebecca and telling her forget it. I don't want to go out tonight. But I'm going to force myself to go. What's the point of just sitting here and sitting alone in my misery. If nothing else hanging with Rebecca will let me forget my malaise for a while.

What makes me know this is a depressive episode and not some funk? For starters, I've suffered depression all my life and know the symptoms. The big key is my appetite. I'm hungry but I don't want to eat. I know I have to and will force feed myself in a bit but it's just not something I want to do.

My shrink say the depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. I buy it. My father suffered the same thing but my mom says when he reached age 40 he never went through another episode. I hadn't had an episode in two years so I thought maybe I was headed in the right direction. Guess not.

Of course there can be external triggers. I think one of them is not having a chance to see Sophia. I haven't seen her in a long time and it was one of the things keeping me focused when I had lost my driving privileges. I had hope for maybe starting something with her. Right now I'm in limbo with her.

I just might be flat out lonely. I'm not sure about that since this weekend and next weekend my social calendar is actually booked. I spent time with friends on Sunday and went to the game with Will. Tonight I see Rebecca. I work the next three days but on have plans for the weekend. So it's not like I'm sitting here wondering why friends don't call. They do and we have plans...so loneliness isn't an issue.

I thought maybe the holiday season starting might trigger it. I don't celebrate the holidays so I don't think that's it.

Hell I even missed my favorite Jewish holiday...Yom Kippur. It's been a running joke since high school about me being Jewish...I'm not...but here's the thing...I do celebrate Yom Kippur. It's a wonderful idea. The Day of Atonement. I don't celebrate by going to synagogue but I do reflect on the previous year. I asked God for forgiveness and I try to forgive those who some how may have wronged me. I try to let go of grudges. It's not just a day of atonement but a day of reflection. I missed it this year. Maybe I'll use Christmas as my atonement this year.

Rebecca just called. We are still on for dinner tonight. I gotta get moving. Laundry won't wash itself and the kitchen won't clean itself.

Signing off for now,
Your Fighting Depression Pope

The Strip Club, Angry Football and Some Other Stuff

Adventures in Titty Bars
One little thing I left out on my depression post yesterday is how I tried to solve it Sunday night. Like lonely bored bachelors, I decided the titty bar was the way to go. So I took out my allowance and went to a local club and not the one I usually drive out the city to.

I should have driven to the one on the outskirts of town. The one I went two had mainly my least favorite dancer: bleach blond with disproportionately huge boobs. I'll address the fake boob issue in a minute. But come on, I like some variety. Where were the Asian girls or my favorite trashy Hispanic women?

I finally spotted an older but very attractive dancer. She wasn't obviously older than the other dancers but carried herself with such sex appeal. Plus she was brunette and all real baby. Not a fake breast on her. I got a few dances and moved on.

Then, wow, to call the next girl I saw attractive, pretty or cute would be an insult. She was smoking. I mean down right gorgeous. Her face was beautiful. Her body was incredible. She was short with tight body. Her legs were stunning...yeah, I know, who looks at legs in a strip club? That's how beautiful she is. I paid her for a few dances. Oh my word, she stripped down to her thong and my mind is repeating,"Holy shit...she's fucking incredible...gorgeous...blessed." Her ass was plump and rounded nicely. Her waste curved in and not an ounce of fat on her body. None. She had small breast...B-cup at best. I know, you think guys like huge tits. I admit I like big nice ones but small ones are just as nice. I thought I would pass out.

Then I started to realize how young she looked. I feared that Chris Hansen from Dateline's to Catch a Predator would show up with cameras and ask me to have a seat.


In fact she reminded me of Rebecca's 15 year old daughter (who can easily pass for a much older girl) and decided enough dances.

Angry Football
Monday Night Football didn't work out for me. I love being at games but damn they sure put me through the emotional roller coaster.

Sex Identity Crisis at Work
I need to watch it. I have to quit referring to my coworker as the Sexually Ambiguous Person or "Hey, that dude, what's her name?" Word will get back to It and I'll be in big trouble.



Well that it for now with the still some what depressed Pope.

Good night.

Monday Morning Blues That Started Sunday

Not sure why I feel myself slipping into a depression. Or maybe it isn't depression but the "L" word...no not lesbian or love but "loneliness"? The Loner is Lonely?

Quiet honestly it is depression. I suffered enough of it over the course of my lifetime to know the symptoms. I don't want to get out of bed. I just want to sleep the day away. I don't want to eat. I don't want to do anything.

The first thing I did set a time to get out of bed. Okay, so it was 11:00 a.m. but I set a time and stuck to it.

I'm hungry but I don't want to eat. My buddy Will is off from work. I might call him and see if he wants to go grab lunch.

I need to clean up my apartment. It isn't messy but it's cluttered. So that's on the agenda.

I'm slowly upgrading my wardrobe. All my shit is either old or I'm tired of. I want some new nice stuff. Dress to impress. Or at least not look like a bum.

If going to the Monday Night Football game tonight doesn't snap me out of my depression nothing will. Football is my drug. It comes only for a short time each year (8 home games) so I suck it up like crack going out of production.

I've got plenty to do. So I just gotta grab myself by my scruffy neck, shake myself and get moving. I know the worst thing for depression is to let it fester.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just called Will to see ask him something. He sounded worst than me. He just called me back. He just told me his father is terminal. He didn't tell me with what. I don't think it's the Alzheimer but maybe something related.

I was going to spend Thanksgiving with them but they are going out of town to see their father. It might be the last one they spend with him. I'm sorry to hear that.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Savages....You are all Savages!

My work week didn't get any better until Tuesday.

Monday was a total fucking disaster. Worst than Sunday. Incompetence breeds incompetence ad nausem. We are in fourth generation incompetence in some areas because of nepotism, cronyism and the good old boy network. The company won't call it that but we actually have legacy hires...sons, daughters and grandchildren of employees are hired not on qualification but relations. Sad.

Now back to Monday. How bad was Monday? I had to document all that went wrong to cover my ass in case someone tries to mess with me about it. I'll have it all written down by the end of the day for my personal records...sad that I have to do that to. I didn't have to resort to such things in my old department.

Then there is that bright spot in my life. That little sliver of hope. That ray of sunshine poking in through the clouds....yes I'm talking about Sophia.

I've stepped up my assault on winner her over again. Previously the last few times I asked her out she'd kind of stall. Then she asked me if I worked weekends. Then a couple of weeks ago she actually said she wanted to see me soon. Yesterday at the end of our nice short conversation she says again,"I hope to see you soon." That's where I stepped in and said,"That one of the reasons I called. I have some free time the next couple of weekends." She said she had plans this weekend but yes next weekend she should have time.

Well see what happens next weekend. I may try the jedi mind trick on her....

May the Force Be With You and the Pope. It's almost noon so I'm off to breakfast.

Adieu.
El Papa Juan Pablo III

It Doesn't Take Long....

....for work to piss me off.

I'm gone one week for a much needed vacation. I needed that down time away from that fucking zoo.

I try my best to get stuff done. I have no reason not to. One thing I don't understand about my crew is how they like to slack off and then have to hurry up to get work done before the end of the shift. I like to hurry and get my work done so I can slack off the rest of the day.

Today was a prime example. I wanted to listen to the football game at noon so I took my radio with me. I get all my shit together and just a few things to do in the afternoon. I sit back and enjoy the game. Simple.

Then my equipment went down hill after the game. Our equipment is total garbage. Instead of fixing things the right way, the technical staff just hold the place together with spit, rubber bands and duct tape.

I was actually instrumentation and not people that pissed me off. It took two days back from vacation and smoke was coming out of my ears.

On the commute back home today I was thinking hard about my job. I'd never quit and would be devastated if I ever lost my job. Despite all the bullshit, I'm well compensated for it. The only thing that makes my job some what tolerable is the pay and the benefits. If I got paid half what I make, which would still be pretty good money, I'd seriously start looking for another job.

I guess my job is like a drug. I was on the other side of the fence for years. I was a contractor for a few years before they hired me full time. It was a blessing. My pay almost quadrupled and added benefits. As a contractor I was employed by the whim of management. Now that I've tasted the pay of a full time employee I'm addicted. Add in the overtime and I'm hooked for life. There is just no other way to describe it.

Several years ago, in the first few years I worked for Big Mother Fucking Oil Company, my cousin asked me if I was planning on going to grad school. I almost doubled over laughing. The time it took me to get my engineering degree most students achieved their PhDs. I hated school. I hated working hard. I hated classes. My God, if I went to grad school, I'd still be there 20 years later. No I told him. I've reached my peak. I reached the pinnacle of my working life. I'm a lifer.

Jesus, as much as I bitch about the job, I remind myself with this, which few people can actually say: I'm set for life.

So despite all the bitching and moaning about work, I do remind myself that it is a blessing. Especially in these economic times, I do remember that. I have friends who have either lost jobs or took pay cuts. I can't imagine being in their shoes.

I've only been unemployed once. After I graduated, I went almost a year before I landed my first real job. And calling it a real job is marginal at best. Again, I started as a contractor and was making a dollar or two above minimum wage. I received a livable raise after I was hired full time. (Side note: It's also where I met Violet, go figure). After that I toiled briefly in the oil fields and almost went the roughneck route. If you knew me that would be the farthest thing you'd think when you see me.

The reason I started this blog was for therapeutic reasons. That's what I just accomplished. As pissed off as I am, writing has made me look back at where I was in 1995 and where I am now. A long way from scrapping by on $8.25/hour to make what I do now.

The therapy has worked...for a night at least...

Your Blessed Pope,
JP3

Hmmph

No this blog hasn't gone dead. I'm not missing in action. Violet didn't hunt me down for cutting off her phone. I didn't run off and finally marry Sophia. I didn't get back with Rebecca and move in with her.

None of the above.

In fact that's it. Nothing is going on....nada, zilch, zero.

I like it that way.

Just watching football, the occasional trip to the strip club and fishing.

Me and my bestest friend EVAR went down to the lake this week and caught a mess of catfish.

Also had my first exposure to red tide. That shit sucks. Wheezing, hacking and coughing the one day we went out to the Gulf of Mexico. Never again on a red tide warning.

Nothing major going on with Sophia but she's still in the picture. She asked me out recently and like a schmuck I haven't been available. She's waited this long to maybe start coming around and I think she can wait a little bit longer. God knows I have...

I may have finally worked my last regularly scheduled night shift. I'm not sure but I think I'm in a permanent day shift. On paper at least my supervisor can't put me on nights because of my seniority. Now I think some crew shuffling can happen and then I might be forced to work nights again.

Well good night,
Your Ever Loving Fishing Pope

Donkey Punch

I was so sick last night. I couldn't even fucking breath. It was so bad I wanted to punch somebody.

I kept getting out of bed and wandering around my apartment. I'd open the fridge and decide I'm not hungry. I'd lay down on the couch hoping to fall asleep. No luck. I went back to bed and just got angrier that I couldn't sleep.

I was miserable. Finally sometime after midnight I called the shift supervisor and told her I wasn't going into work and that I needed to see a doctor.

I was fortunate I got in this morning to see the doc. Just allergies. She gave me some pretty good meds. I'm taking one more day off just to try and rest. This crud is kicking my ass. I'd hate to go in and crater after a few hours.

The Bleach Blond
I wasted no time with her but I didn't fuck her. Yet.

I got her number the other day. Called her that night. She went to a football game with me.

Why didn't I fuck her? Cause when she came over to my place the morning of the game she told me she hadn't been home all night. She stayed with a friend and that she'd been partying with some guy. I thought, hell, she probably fucked this guy only hours ago. I don't want to go there. I'll have to get it one day after work when I know where she's been the last twelve hours.

Still no word from Violet. I wonder if she's gonna balls up come clean with her shenanigans. I had to cut the phone off though. I've done so much for her cause I hate to see her suffer. When I brought her back from Florida she was suicidal. I helped her through that.

Now she's only made her own mess. It's not that I don't care. I really do but I can't let her drag me down. I'm happy and aside from being sick today, I'm no longer miserable.

Just one more thing I need to make me perfectly happy...but I won't reveal that now.

Until next time,
Your Happy Horny Pope

Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Her Goodbye

I've said so long to Violet. After my little poll last week, I decided that I would give her one chance to explain her absence and overall shitheaded behavior.

Here's a brief recap. Evidently she was robbed at work and took time off. She then went on a little trip to Mexico in July. I haven't heard from her since. Her son called me in late July or early August (like I really care when) and paid me for her cell phone that's on my account.

I see calls and texts are being sent from her phone when I check the logs online. I occasionally try to call her but never get an answer or return call. Last week I decided to poll my friends and ask them should I cut her phone off or not. The vote was a resounding victory for the "Cut off Phone" campaign.

Her son then called me a couple of weeks ago and said she'd be back soon.

Well Monday I checked the account online and over 1000 minutes had been used recently. I did a reverse number look up on those calls. Most were to auto businesses, insurance companies, auto storage and moving companies and car dealers. In the billing period, which ends October 3rd, someone has used 1500 out of 2100 minutes on my account.

I came up with a few theories on what's going on.

The first contestant is that she's really in Mexico and left her phone with someone to use while she's gone. Her son told me he has it. So either he's making all the calls or he's lying to me for her.

Behind door number two is she isn't really in Mexico but still in the U.S. She miscalculated me and her situation. I believe she thought that I would keep paying the bill in order to keep my phone in service. I don't think she knew I could suspend her phone without it affecting my service.

After seeing how many minutes were run up on my account (despite it not costing me a thing), I decided then and there that it was time to cut no more slack. I called and had her account suspended at 9:30 a.m. yesterday.

I had my coworker screen my calls at work in case Violet called. I turned my phone off for a while.

Sure enough, around 11:30 a.m. I turned my phone back on, and there was a call from an 800 number. I didn't answer the first two times but I did on the third call. It was the cell company and they called to tell me that she was trying to access the account to find out why the phone wasn't working. However she was unable to verify one of the two social security numbers on the account: mine or hers. So they wanted me to verify that she was on the account and tell her why the phone was off. I did allow them to tell her that the phone was suspended.

Later, I realized that if she did find my SSN she could call and have the service reinstated. I called the carrier and told them that under no circumstances are they to turn the phone back on without my permission. She has no authority to do so.

Now a little theory refinement. I don't think it was her calling the cell phone company. I think whoever is using it called or used a female to pose as Violet and call. If it really were her she could access the account with her social security number. I also believe she still has mine.

So I believe she's still in Mexico and left the phone for someone, probably some man she's fucking, to use as he pleases. No worries, she thinks, that idiot the Pope is paying for it all.

As Chucky once said,"Fuck you, bitch!"

I'm Going off the Rails on the Crazy Train

And then there is the other end of the spectrum. Nothing going on. Not really.

I still haven't heard a peep from Violet. I did a text poll of my friends on whether or not I should cut her cell phone off even though her son has paid me for it. The overwhelming majority voted to cut it off. One person made it conditional and one was actually compassionate. The condition is if I'm still doing her then leave it on. The compassionate one says leave it on as long as it's paid up. Everybody else said the hell with her. I'm in agreement with those that said cut it off. She's paid up til next week then bammo she's off my account.

I do have to admit, most my male friends just said cut it off and left it that. My female friends, well, damn you women are vicious. They couldn't vote yes or no. They had to throw in the "fuck her that goddamn inconsiderate bitch" comments. That's why I love my female friends. I didn't give Rebecca a vote though. I can figure a wild guess on which way she'd vote.

Running with Scissors
I've diagnosed my coworker with "Running With Scissors" syndrome. What that means is that she's an attention whore. She tries to get attention like a little kid running around yelling "Look I'm running with scissor!" I had already pegged her as being needy.

For fucks sake, she's a new hire at work. I'm doing some troubleshooting the other day and she comes up to me and asks if I need help. I just give her my best "I don't give a damn" look and say,"I've been here 13 years. I think I know what I'm doing." Another time I was working on something else and again she sticks her business in my nose and asks if I need help. I turn to her and flat out say,"Absolutely, positively not." And go on my merry way.

Damn woman is in a shitty relationship at home. She's told others that the only reason she's still with her boyfriend is cause the sex is good. Personally I don't care how good the sex is, if I'm miserable, I'm gone. No sex is that good. Buy a goddamn vibrator. What the fuck?

That said, if she lays back and puts her ankles around her ears for me, I'm diving right in. Why? Cause that just the way I roll.

Oh Sexy Girlfriend!

You smell fishy!
Well your Pope has been a bit busy lately.

I’ve been working some overtime at work to pay for the final touches on my car’s engine work. Next up for her is a brand new custom paint job so she’ll look pretty and sexy.

I’ve also spent a couple of days out on the water fishing. Both times I ended up getting run off by lightening. The first day out at the lake I got some good bites but no catches. The second day down at a river I caught plenty of fish but no keepers. Two catfish, three ladyfish and two small strippers (a third didn’t count because it was foul hooked). The ladyfish were a lot of fun to catch as they hit only artificial lures. One almost put my eye out when I tried to set the hook and the fish broke loose. The lure flew out of the water and right past my face.
Between working extra shifts and fishing, I’ve let my apartment go to shit. Not a mess but just clutter.

Also preseason football started and I went to one game.

So Long Dear Uncle

My uncle died Friday after a long battle with cancer. My plan was to take the afternoon off from work Monday and drive to out of town for the funeral. After waking up tired Sunday, I decided to take the whole day off on Monday. I needed to get my car inspected, a haircut and make sure my suit fit.

I had asked my cousin if I could be a pallbearer if she didn’t have the six picked out yet but she did. I did some other task during the mass. I didn’t matter to me but I was honored that I got to do one last task for my uncle.

Two’s Company, Three’s a Manage a Twat

Tomorrow I make a quick stop at my home for a change of clothes and vehicles and I’m off to a casino to meet some friends and celebrate a friend’s birthday.

It’s kind of a weird situation for me. Originally a much larger group was going. I asked my friend who all was in the final tally. She told me it was just me, her and her boyfriend. Great. I get to be a third wheel at best and a third in a threesome at worst. Trust me the later scenario is the worst idea.

To be honest, I don’t want to reveal much yet of what is going on there. She’s in a messed up domestic situation and wants to dump her boyfriend but for financial reasons just can’t yet.

I’ll say this much. We get along really great and she’s a lot of fun to hang out. She deserves better than the fuck up she’s dating right now. I’m her sounding board on their problems. Sometimes I want to grab her by the neck and say, “Run, dammit, run!” It’s not my place to. I think back to my last year with Rebecca and realize I was in the same situation. Not financially dependent but emotionally dependent. Rebecca was my crutch and my enabler of bad habits. Yet I decided to stay in the situation.

I let my friend know about the train wreck that was me and Rebecca. And I told her how bad a situation it was for me and how destructive it was. But I don’t tell her how to run her life. I just want her to see I was in a similar situation and it blew up ugly and nasty.

Boss, da plane, fantasy football plane!


Football season officially opens for me on Saturday with the kick off of my alma mater’s first game. I have a ticket but may not make the game. Saturday also marks the day of my fantasy football league draft. I hope we wrap up the draft in time to make kick off.

Football. My favorite time of year. It’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa and all other religious holidays for me. My bible is Pro Football Weekly and my church is Reliant Stadium. Best time of year.

Well, like Paris Hilton’s panties, I’m off.

The Pontiff Maximus Johannes Paulus III

Brain Games

I truly believe my subconscience talks to me. I previously described my dreams about the snakes and fish and how my bestest friend EVAR translated it to the women in my life.

My latest dreams weren't so subtle. In fact they were hitting me over the head. They were very clear of intent.

On August 27, 2009 I'll complete two years of sobriety. No alcohol or sleeping pill abuse. I did the rehab stint (third time is a charm) and never looked back. Basically it's been sheer will power and inner strength. It was hard at first and I still have my temptations but the worst is over.

Back to the dreams. For two nights in a row, I dreamed of and relived my memories of being in jail and going to court. In one dream I was up on a new charge of drunk driving and looking at prison time. I was scared and felt hopeless. That all I'd rebuilt over the last two years was lost. I would have been better off dead.

Each day I'd wake up and thank God for letting me get another chance at life. I could have lost it all. God is extremely merciful. Two years ago was my third strike. I was let off the hook with a wrist slap. I walked away with one year probation and a year license suspension. The guy before me in court did jail time and four years probation with a felony record. The judge reduced me to a misdemeanor. I can only chalk it up to God being there with me in court that day.

The dreams, I believe, are my mind and subconscience's way of reminding me how far I've come in life and how much I stand to lose.

I've cleaned myself up and things are better than ever before. I live in a beautiful place, drive two vehicles that I like (and not some beaten up old hoopty), have great friends who helped me during my troubles and a pain in the ass family that loves me in spite of the troubles I've caused.

So in a way I say thanks to my twisted mind for reminding me, not that I need it, how far I've come and how much I can lose.

Have a great night,
The Grateful Pope

P.S. - As always, smack the snot out of some kid today. You'll feel better aftwards.

Damn Fish

Man what a day. I did nothing but went fishing. Just me and the elements. Unfortunately the elements won. I'll sit through a rain storm. I won't sit through lightning while on the water. That's just not smart.

Fuck and the fish were biting to. And then the rain came. I stayed. The fish still were there. Then the thunder came. I stayed. The fish were still hungry. Then the lightning flashed. I called it a day.

The fish are probably laughing and calling me a pussy. Fuck you fish. I'll have the last laugh when you're on the plate next a slice of lemon and covered in tartar sauce.

No Woman, No Cry

I've got some friends MIA right now. I haven't heard from three of my friends in a while. I'm way beyond being the concerned bothering type. I figure if they will contact me if and when things get better. I am concerned but I've learned I can only live for myself and not others.

That said, I'm one happy mother fucker. Not for any particular reason. I just am. My life, except for Sophia, is going right. Even with things not going as planned with Sophia I'm still pretty good.

Violet is off dry humping herself or someone in Mexico right now. I could careless what the fuck she's up to. All I know is she's paid me her portion of the cell phone bill and that's all that matters to me right now.

I've been hanging around a lot with Rebecca lately. Despite our relationship not working out we still enjoy each others company. She's a lot of fun. Plus she's good to keep around for those times she gets horny.

As with Violet, I tread lightly with Rebecca. I keep my eyes open for signs that she might think we have a chance to get back together. I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crept into my mind. When it does I just remind myself how that whole relationship blew up like the atom bomb over Hiroshima. It wasn't a pretty ending and the fall out was devastating.

She talks about maybe us taking vacations together and has been inviting me over to her place more often. This is a first. She even wants to cook me dinner. That's never happened before. Even when we were dating. On the surface, I think she's just lonely and knows I have no major commitments other than work. Plus I'm an easy lay as one of my female coworkers so eloquently put it.

Things are just sailing along smoothly for me. No worries. My job is secure, my friends are well, family contact is minimal and football is about to start. Life is good.

Dave's Not Here!

Dave's not here!!


Fuck. Change your address already. I've been living in the new apartment since late March. I shouldn't be getting your mail anymore. At first I was writing "Return to Sender" in big bold letters. Now I'm just throwing your shit away.

Funny thing though. You might want to clear that warrant up before you get arrested. Also it will save me the problem of showing the cops my ID when they show up here looking for your wanted ass.

Return from the Edge of Sanity

I'm beginning to think my mom's side of the family is inbred.

We had a big family reunion this weekend. I went thereby fulfilling my one obligatory family function per year. Someone dies or gets married then tough shit. I used up my family function visits for the year.

I had to spend the week at my sister's house since my mother gives away her rooms to out of towners and their guests while she will stick her own son on a small uncomfortable twin bed. A full size isn't comfortable for me anymore. I demand queen sized or better.

I go with my mom to my aunt's house to meet the out of town cousins and my God as soon as I saw them I heard the banjos going. Deliverance. Squeal like a piggy. You sure do got a purty mouth. Dueling Banjos. The visuals didn't stop. They must belong to the part of the family tree that doesn't branch. Holy shit I couldn't wait to get out of there. Cause then all the talk about God this and God that and amen and hallelujah how holy this and that.

So not only are they inbred, they are God freaks to. Maybe they think God is the road to redemption for the incest sins. I don't know.

At the big party on Saturday, I tell my cousin/goddaughter how I have this theory of our my grandparents (her great grandparents) were brother and sister. They were from a small community in South Texas. They had the same last name before marriage and the first names are eerily similar. Way back after the turn of the century, families didn't move around much. Small communities tended to consist mostly of family through blood or marriage. My guess is that they were at worst siblings, at best cousins. I told my cousin that at least it creates a new type of relative in our family. My sister is now my sister and cousin or sister-cousin.

Anyway, I complained to my sister all week about my mom's guests and how weird they were. At the party my brother, who I didn't see til the party, comes over to me and says he went by mom's to visit me. Instead he found a house full of freaks and weirdos. I love my family's sick sense of humor.

I avoided my mom the whole week. Just because I didn't feel like putting up with her or getting volunteered into anything. She has a tendency to make plans and not tell you that you are involved. She tried to get me to "volunteer" to take my aunt and uncle home after the party. I didn't budge from my stance of "you brought them, you take them home." My mom claims she can't see at night. I know it's bullshit cause she's out going to church, with her male friend and visiting my aunts at night. She just doesn't want to do it. I'm of the opinion not only if she brought them she returns them but why aren't my cousins bringing and taking their parents home? It's utter bullshit and I refuse to get sucked into the game.

Other than that I spent time with my bestest friend EVAR and spent some time with my nephews.

OH crap I gotta go back to work tomorrow. Fortunately I managed to turn this into a two day work week. I hate it when that happens.

Your Hardly Working Pope,
Jay-to-the-Pee-to-the-Three-Pope

Terry Therapy Sessions XVII

I couldn't schedule a face to face meeting with my therapist this month so we did a phone session.

The main topic to start was the death of my friend. I told her the details I knew about it. She asked me how I was coping. My coping was and still is in three stages: 1. Stunned and surprised. 2. Dammit, why did he do it. 3. Let it go because I'll never know his state of mind when he did it.

She asked me if his death brought any thoughts about using. At first I said no cause I really never thought about getting drunk. Then I remembered something. I told her I thought about having a beer in his memory since we used to go out drinking together. It was a fleeting thought though. I realized I have two years sober coming up next month. No need to break my sobriety yet.

I had some family issues between two cousins. They tried to drag me into their bullshit. I told them not to drag me into it. I was doing one of them a favor and that's it. So what if the other didn't like it. It was none of her business just like my business on why I was doing the favor. I was just helping someone out who asked and it was a reasonable request. Nothing more. Nothing less. Terry said I handled the situation perfectly.

She did ask me about Violet and how I'm handling her. I told her I was done. I tried my best but I can't help a person who won't help herself. I've tried to distance myself from her and not allow her to take me down.

I guess that was the major points. There was some follow up on how I was doing with things we discussed previously.

I guess the main thing for me was to get the suicide of my friend out in the open. Work provided a grief counselor and some coworkers asked me to go with them to see the counselor. I declined. The went for whatever reason they needed to go. I knew I had my session with Terry coming up and would discuss it with her.

Well, gotta schlep out of town for a few days. My aunt's 80th birthday is coming up. I commit to one family function per year and this one is it.

Adios,
JP3

Final Farewell to My Friend

Today was the funeral of my friend. Sadly it was self inflicted. I don't know what drove him to his final actions. If he left a note or anyone knows anything, they aren't saying.

To me it doesn't matter. My friend is gone. I'll never know his state of mind when he did it. Maybe one day I will.

The whole affair has been heartbreaking. Less than 12 hours before his end, I was joking and laughing with him. Nothing seemed wrong. No indications or hints that something so tragic was coming.

I pray for his family. They will need the strength in the days and years to come. I pray for the two youngest. Seeing them and hearing the daughter speak just made things tougher.

At first I had hoped that the rumors were just that...rumors. No one wants to believe someone so close can take their own life. Yet it proved to be true.

At first I was shocked and stunned to hear about the death. Now I'm just saddened and heartbroken for him and his family. I keep saying to myself,"Goddammit, why did you do it?" Then I remind myself that more than likely he wasn't in his right mind anymore.

What ever the reason he did it, I hope it brings him the peace he was probably seeking. His actions may seem unforgivable and angering but his life is over. There is no reason to carry any bitterness or anger toward one who is no longer alive. I pray the family can move on and not guilt themselves into bitterness or hatred. Instead I hope they keep him alive in their hearts and remember him how they loved him best.

Personally, I feel sorry for him and his family. It's tragic. It's easier for me to let go. He's my friend and I'll miss him but we all have to move on. For me this event is tragic but I won't let it blemish my memories of my friend. Instead I'll remember the fishing trips, the beer drinking and the countless laughs we shared.

So long old friend. I hope you find what you were looking for.

The Still Grieving Pope

Good Bye, My Friend :-(

My good friend and coworker died suddenly last night.

I'm in shock and stunned by it. He wasn't sick or in bad health. He was fit as a fiddle. He was part of the emergency crews at work. You have to be in top physical condition for that. Yet he's gone.

He was only a few years older than me. This death hits to close to home.

When I started at BOC many moons and years ago, he was one of the first employees to befriend me. I felt honored that he considered me a friend. He didn't think highly of most people at work. Yet he was always my friend and always helped me with stuff at work if I had problems. It didn't hurt that he thought I was a crazy mother fucker and fun to work with.

He was one of the few I associated with outside of work. We used to go fishing. We used to go drinking many times after work. The mother could drink beer like no other. In my drinking heyday I could drink him under the table. That's saying a lot!

I've lost relatives to death including my father.

I've lost friends to distance and time but this is the first friend I lose to death.

I'm still to stunned to be sad. Yet I felt empty at work today knowing that I'll never see him and his funny walks again. I'll never get to yell out my nickname for him whenever he walked by. He was a hell of a story and joke teller. I'll never hear those words from him again. I'll miss him calling me a "crazy mother fucker" or a "sick fuck."

At least my last two days working with him were memorable. On the 4th of July he cooked for us at work. Yesterday, his last on Earth, I went to the back area where he was working. We were cutting up and joking. The memories are no big events but they are the type worth carrying for a lifetime.

He leaves behind a young family. I feel for them. Like them, I lost my father unexpectedly and in apparent good health. I'll keep them in my prayers.

Most of all, I'll miss my good friend, fishing partner and former drinking buddy.

So long good friend. May you find peace and rest in the next world.

Your grieving Pope,
JP3

Terry Therapy Session XVI and more

Terry Therapy
Last week was my monthly therapy session. I actually look forward to them. They are no longer a requirement by work but I choose to still attend on my own. I think it's better than those stupid AA meetings. Now that is a requirement but work doesn't follow up on it or ask me to get anything signed at meetings so I just don't go.

As for the session itself, we covered a lot of ground in my hour. Nothing earth shattering.

What Terry pointed out to me was how I've been channeling my frustrations, anxieties and all the other emotions that lead me to drink to other outlets. The two prime examples were when the transfer at work and my trainer were getting on my nerves. I talked to my supervisor after I was done training and asked for some time off. In the past I would have went straight for the bottle. I forgot exactly what else she brought up but that I took time out for myself one day and just went to a movie. Once again it was a situation where I would just decided to get drunk and numb myself for a while.

I also brought up the anger issue I've been having the last few months. She just told me that's a part of life. We all get angry. What matters is what we do with that anger. Do I got out and belt someone cause they pissed me off or do I walk away and calm down? Do I get angry and cause a scene at a store or do I go up the management chain to see I get what I need or want? I gave her the examples of my anger and what I did. She said I handled myself well. Also she pointed out that it was those exact scenarios that a few years ago would have pushed me off the edge and into a nice long drunk. She's right.

I also brought up my frustrations with Sophia. Terry just told me that I have to be patient. She says I'm handling it the right way. But if things don't work out I'll know when I have enough and will decide to move on. It's what everybody tells me about Sophia. Be patient.

Violet's Deep Dark Depression
I can't help her anymore. Violet's falling into a deep dark hole. She's falling into a spot where I can't reach her. Not only can I not reach her but I don't want to. I've given it my all to save her from herself. She can't muster up the courage to face her depression. I can't save her if she doesn't want the help.

It hurts to see someone who has been a big part of my life for over twelve years to suffer like she is. I feel very helpless. The best I can say is I did my best for her. I took all the steps possible to move past her problems. I can't carry her burden for her. She must carry the burdens herself. It's not to much for her to bare but it takes strength and courage. Strength and courage are virtues she doesn't have. She thinks she does but no one who does curls up in to a figurative fetal position and bury her head in the sand.

I can't allow her to drag be down with her. I'll always lend her an ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on but I refuse to be sucked down the abyss with her.

I think she's up to something drastic. I'm not sure what but she's up to something. I've tried to warn her that she's going to go a step to far and I'm going to cut her off from my existence. I value myself to much to allow her to throw me down one into my depressions.

This just maybe goodbye Violet. Forever.

I've got plenty more to write but just the lines about Violet took it out of me. Maybe I'll be back soon with more. I need to go clean my apartment to.

Your Almost Waving Goodbye Forever to Violet Pope!
Regards.

For My Ears Only

I was walking by one of my coworkers the other day. She called me over and said,"Hey I've got something I want to tell you."

I'm thinking oh shit what did I say or do? I've known her since we were both contractors twelve years ago. Then I'm thinking crap. Since I'm a union steward she has an issue she needs to tell me about. I'm already coming up with excuses in my mind to tell her I'm not her steward, to go ask them and then me if they won't help her out.

She caught me completely off guard when she said,"Hey, I just wanted you to know that I never said anything to anyone about when I saw you at that place with my son."

Then it came back to me. Me and her son were in rehab together. She saw me once when she dropped him off.

She assured me that she never said anything about it to anyone. She believes that it was something that no one should repeat or mention. Whatever I was doing there is completely confidential that she wouldn't dare break that.

I thanked her and said I never gave it a second thought. It's the truth. I saw her there one day and we talked briefly but she never asked why I was there or what was going on. I really appreciated that. Since that time I a thought about it never entered my mind.

She just wanted to reassure me that she wouldn't betray my trust.

I wanted to hug her right then and there. It was a really sweet thing she did for me. She didn't have to say a word to me. I wasn't worried about it at all. That she went out her way to let me know what she thought actually made my day.

Violet meet Sophia, Bwahahahahaha!

Of course I'm gaga over Sophia. Not only is she in my thoughts through out the day but I have a recurring daydream about me, her and Violet. Settle down, Beavis. It's not a three way. Shit, like I'd ever fuck Violet again.

Anyway, in this recurring scenario, me and Sophia are finally a couple. That should be enough right there. But remember, I'm a vicious, angry Pope.

I don't know how or why but Violet runs in to me and Sophia some where. The whole time Violet knows I have a new female companion. (I refuse to use the term girlfriend. It's so juvenile sounding. Plus I like the term some lesbians use..."female companion" or "life partner"). Anyhow, Violet had never met Sophia. So this one fantastical day she gets to meet her on accident.

Here I am with this stunningly beautiful hot latina woman as my new life partner and I can just see the blood drain from Violet's face. Reality hits that not only am I not ever going back to her but I've scored so far above Violet's level that after I taste Valhalla I won't return to Hell.

It's petty but delicious thoughts that I have through out the day.

For the love of God I hope they never meet if me and Sophia ever end up together. I'll do like I did with the previous three...Violet, Rebecca and as of yet unnamed South American ex-female companions never met. Especially Violet and unnamed South American girl, those two hated each other with a passion. Violet did meet the girl I dated before her but she has no clue that me and this woman dated.

One little correction. Rebecca and Sophia have met. In fact if it wasn't for Rebecca I never would have met Sophia. I went so far as to set them up a business deal. That's a violation of the unwritten code. Never let your main squeeze meet your goumada.

Just a quick little peak into the types of thoughts that float through my petty mind on a slow work day.

Your Daydreaming About Petty Stuff Pope

If I Were a Horse...They Just Might Shoot Me

I've had it with my fucking left knee. I've been hobbling around off and on since October of last year. When I asked the doctor about it back then he asked how intense the pain was. At the time it wasn't very intense only annoying. He said take some anti-inflammatory meds over the counter.

Fast forward to earlier this year. The pain was occurring more frequent and more intense. I've tried in vain to find a cause for it without going to the doctor. I tried new shoes. That helps for a while. I tried thicker socks. That seemed to help. Not anymore.

I can walk ten miles and not feel any pain. My problem is when I sit down or bend my knee. The first few steps not only are painful but sometimes I can't put my full weight down. It so bad now that when I get out of the truck I have to hold on to it until I can put weight on my leg. Then I can walk forever.

More distressing is I can feel my knee pop sometimes when I walk. No pain when it pops but damn it can't be a good thing. I also noticed last week how tender it is when I touch the inner side of my knee.

All this is probably leading up to a few things. At worst knee replacement and at best a brace. Rest isn't going to heal this puppy up. Something isn't connected right anymore. My sister, who only God knows how, has some medical knowledge, speculates that my knee will have to be scoped.

A couple of people have asked my why haven't I done anything about it yet. June 1 of this year marks my one year return to work after my six month sabbatical that started in 2006. I didn't have my full benefits back before June 1. I still had disability pay but at half my pay rate. I'm now back to full pay if I have to take extended time off.

Today though was the day that I got tired of Wounded Knee. At approximately 6:30 p.m. I called the doctor's office and set an appointment for next week.

See you later mother phukkers,
Pope Wounded Knee

"You know how to whistle, don't you...You just put your lips together and blow my meat whistle!"

I was bored. Extremely bored. How bored was I? I spent the weekend with Violet.

Normally I don't mind doing things by myself. Hell I enjoy it. Fishing, dog track, vacations, roadies to Louisiana to gamble, titty bars, movies and going out to eat. I love it all and enjoy my aloneness. This week I went down to Galveston and almost killed outta shape ass on my bike. I took in the new Terminator movie. I went to the dog track and then the nudie bar afterward. All alone. I liked it.

So Saturday I'm bored. I called good old Violet to check in on her and her depression. I knew she hadn't had a good meal in a while. Depression does that. I know first hand. So asked her if she wanted to get dinner after work and she said yes.

The place I was in the mood for was where we had one of our first dates. While there a flood of memories hit me. Our life together. Then my post-Violet girlfriend came to mind. I haven't come up with a good name for her yet. But I took her there once to and it was the point in the relationship when we were talking marriage and all that fun shit. I almost proposed to her. The weird thing after that was when we were leaving. A man stopped us in the parking lot and gave me flowers to give "to your beautiful wife." So all these thoughts of Violet and ex-beautiful Colombian girlfriend came to mind.

So what do I do? I come up with the idea of spending today in Galveston and at the Moody Gardens with Violet. I realized after the fact that this is where me and ex-Colombian girlfriend spent New Years 2000 at. Is there a doctor in the house? Paging Dr. Freud.

The reason I asked Violet to do something was I was coming off my anger of last week and starting on a downward cycle. I just didn't want to be alone today.

Sophia, or the lack of, was what was bringing me down. As much as I want to write her off, I can't. The rational part of me was saying move on and find someone else. Another voice was telling me don't give up. So I was going batty thinking about her and I didn't want to be left to my own devices this weekend.

I told myself not to call her this weekend. I almost made it. After I dropped Violet off, I sent Sophia a text message in Spanish (Sophia is beautiful South American woman!) asking her if everything is okay. I didn't even put my phone down and it rang. I thought it was Violet calling me for God knows what.

It was Sophia calling. The first words out of her mouth were,"Pope, I'm so sorry. I got your messages. I've been so busy with work and my Mom. I feel so bad. I wasn't ignoring you." She went on to tell me about work, her mom's neediness and other time consuming stuff. She said sometimes when she does get a moment to herself she wants to keep it that way. I can definitely understand that.

We had a nice conversation. Of course there was the promise of seeing each other soon. I hope so. I miss her dearly. I want us to pick up where we left off before my troubles. As I've said before, I need to win her heart back. She just needs to give me the chance.

Amazing. I feel 100% different than I did 24 hours ago.

Angry Jewish Pope Ranting and Raving

In general I'm an angry person. I don't like people. I have a small group of friends that I'm fiercely loyal to but outside of that I don't care much for new folks entering my life.

Today I'm angrier than normal. And not Denis Leary angry either. My slope downward probably started a couple of days ago.

What started the ball rolling? More than likely Violet. Tuesday she sends me a text message on how depressed she is and that she doesn't want to talk to anyone. She said she'd call me the next day. I replied did something happen. She said she'd explain it later. So here it is on Thursday and no word. It pisses me off that she tries to invoke my sympathies with her pathetic rhetoric. I don't know if she was drunk but later I get the "I love you. A lot. If nothing else you are my best friend always." Great. My ex-girlfriend is now my BFF.

I've been wanting to paint my car but I've been ineligible to work any overtime at work while I train on my new job. Now that I'm certified on one job I can work overtime. Problem is that I got so sick of being there after three weeks that I took two weeks off. So while I'm not working OT there is no extra money to paint the car. It doesn't help that I took a nice chunk out of my savings for a down payment on the truck. So that has me a little edgy to.

I let William borrow the car while I was out of town. Generally Will is a pretty stand up guy. Unfortunately he chose this weekend not to be one. My car got egged while it was at his house. He didn't clean it up right away and I now have egg etched into my paint job. It looks just lovely.

I picked up the car yesterday from my mechanic. Naturally when I get home the thing I took it in originally to get fixed is still broken. He had it fixed but my car decided that it didn't want to remain fixed. I have to take it back soon.

Finally I'm fed up with Poindexter and his bullshit. I fronted the money to him and William to buy NFL season tickets with me. Will has promptly paid me back. Dork Dexter hasn't. Every fucking time I ask about my money he either ignores my texts, tells me he's mailing it that week or has a laundry list of excuses. One day I told him, look mother fucker, you're not the only one with expenses. I got my move, my car, my teeth, strippers and I want a new TV. So then last week the bank allegedly screwed up his account and bounced some checks. Then this week it was something with a new job and God knows what else.

The bottom line is this: He owes me the fucking money. I'm tired of his excuses. The tickets are going up online at stubhub.com. I've joked in previous entries that he doesn't have a job. Sadly I think it's true. Binks says that Dex keeps coming up with excuses cause he doesn't have a job. Binks thinks it's typical Dex. Always bragging about having this and that but really doesn't have shit. Well fuck you Dex. Conveniently he's ignored my text today. I've had it. I told him this cat and mouse shit is getting old.

I thought ranting and raving on the blog would calm me down. Instead I can feel the steam coming out of my ears and my blood pressure rising exactly 121 points.

Fuck off,
The Pope

Down time, nicknames, new truck

I'm taking vacation from work. This straight day gig isn't as easy to adjust to as I thought it would be. I actually got pretty pissed on what normally would be my night shift. I didn't want to work the day shift. Amazingly my body, mentally and physically, had adjusted to working the rotating shifts.

The straight day deal isn't permanent yet. I still need one person senior to me to die or retire. Once I get trained on three more job posts I get kicked to rotating again. It figures that I'll probably adjust to days right when I go back on rotation.

I spent the weekend at visiting my mom, sister, Binks and Poindexter. Old Dex is such a dork...hence the name. I've known him since middle and school. The man hasn't changed one bit. He and Binks no longer talk. Binks got tired of his bullshit. Binks also thinks Dex is a pedo at worst, a homo at best. Binks doesn't want him around his kids.

Obviously, to maintain anonymity I change people's names. Poindxter comes from the Revenge of the Nerds character to describe my ultimate dorkiest friend:


The name Binks comes from my friend's favorite comic strip: Bloom County. I picked the name Binks cause it's short for Binkley; the Bloom County character my friend most resembles. Actually it's uncanny how much they look alike.


That's just a little history on why some of the names I pick are kind of weird.

Moving back the show. Nothing of any significance happened while I was gone. Thank God, Allah, Zeus and Vishnu.

The main reason I went was to get away from Houston for a few days and also show off my new truck. It was a whim purchase but something I've been wanting for a while. I want it for my fishing adventures and also my other car is getting up in years. Time to let the old gal rest. She deserves it.

Maybe I'll discuss how pissed Violet was when I bought the thing at a later date. All her reaction did was reinforce in my already made up mind on why she's my ex-girlfriend and why I never married her. It's good to have an occasional reminder even though I know better.

Well, that's my quick blurb for now.

Go molest a priest tomorrow,
Pope JPIII

Terry Therapy Session XV

I think I'm on my 15th session with Terry. I'm to lazy to look it up so I'm going with 15 here on forward.

It wasn't a bad session. As usual we talked about me maintaining my sobriety and the things I'm doing to stay that way. For example, my camping trip was one way I'm keeping myself busy and out of trouble.

She asked me if I still had thoughts about drinking. I said of course. Not only during my camping trip but at the NFL draft party I went to. Sitting at home on my off days, I think about drinking to. But they are just thoughts. I don't linger on it. I have my thoughts about it, push them out of my brain and go on my way. Sure, even though I'm randomly tested at work, I know I can get away with it. But what if I slip up at the wrong time? To me it isn't worth the price of losing my job. Terry said it's good I have the thoughts but can deal with it. She said the thoughts are different from urges. Urges are stronger. Since my thoughts are fleeting she doesn't see any real danger. She also told me that as more time passes the thoughts won't be as often and some day they will disappear completely.

Terry asked how's the love life? I laughed and said what love life. I did tell her my concerns with both Rebecca and Violet. I told her about the whining both did at Valentine's that I didn't call or send flowers. I told her about the night of the harpies with Rebecca's friends. I told her that Violet is the one that concerns me more. She's getting possessive of me and expects things from me that a boyfriend or sometimes husband does. Not a friend.

Terry said I need to be careful because women can take some actions from a man that he's interested in them. In my case it's more dangerous since both women are my ex-girlfriends. She says what I may view as just hanging out, movies and dinner may start to form in their minds that we are back together again. Even though there is no romance they can start think, "Well I have a boyfriend." Oy vay, I don't really want to deal with that. Terry then laughed and said,"Isn't it great to be love?" I told her no. Instead I thought it was pretty scary.

Terry just urged me to proceed with caution with both. My biggest fear is Violet. Rebecca can rebound pretty quick. She can be cold or at least put up a strong front when she want. I told Terry my fear is Violet will be devastated when I start dating again. She agreed with me that if Violet causes me grief over a new girlfriend that I have to cut Violet completely out of my life. I'd hate to be I can't sacrifice my happiness over her.

Those were the big topics we talked about. We talked some about my new assignment with BOC (BIG OIL Company - my employer) and how I was adjusting to that. Family matters and how my mother is finally leaving me alone. We even talked briefly about my future with BOC and when I think I'd like to leave and retire. My thing is this. As long as I'm healthy I still want to work. If reach retirement age (55 at BOC) and I still need to work, I see no reason to leave BOC. If I can leave and don't need the income, I'd like to travel and pursue maybe a second career. 55 is to young to sit around and sniff the seats where old women have sat.

Sophia
I don't know what to say about Sophia. There really isn't much to say. She's either really busy, has a boyfriend or is playing hard to get.

The New Job
I'm in week two of training. I can tell my trainer gets really annoyed with me. I feel like telling him,"Look mother fucker, you've been doing this shit for 18 years. I've been doing it for exactly five days. Back the fuck off." But I don't. I just nod my head and go with the flow. Underneath though I'm boiling. I was going to finish up with him this week but I decided after this morning's fiasco that I'm not ready to sign off yet. He'll have to deal with me one more week. He told me not to listen to management. He doesn't like to train more than two weeks but for me to take my time and learn the job right. He won't pressure me to finish up.

Big sign that I'm slightly peeved about training? My blood pressure is fucking high. 154/90 when I took it the other day while on break. We have a machine at work. My normal blood pressure at the docs and other times I've taken it is around 128/78. I can see I'm slightly aggravated.

I'm wrapping up my long session now. There is more I want to write but I need to sleep and be bright eyed and angry at work tomorrow. The beauty of my job is my work week is over on Tuesday.

Oh wait one more quick thing.

The Scallops are Boy Toys?
I wrote about my gay neighbors the Scallops last time. We have assigned parking in my building. The car next to me at first was driven by a Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator wanna be. He's the kind of douche bag that wears a leather jacket, black shirt, sunglasses and shaves his head. Other than looking like a douche, he looks normal. In case you haven't guessed it, I think everybody in my apartment building is a douche bag. I live in Douche Bag Central. After some time passes, I met the Scallops and then noticed they also parked next to me. I didn't think much more of it. I thought maybe they had lent someone the car. Hadn't seen Arnold Douche-a-nator lately. That is until yesterday. As I was drilling a hole in my car floorboard (that's another story), Arnie the Douche walks by and gets in the Scallop-mobile. Then it dawned on me. I only see Arnie occasionally but I see the Scallops running amok and doing whatever it is gay men who don't work full time do. I think the Scallops, both of them, are Arnie's Boy Toys. I think Arold the Douchebag keeps these gay Asian guys on the side. Even if he doesn't, it's fun to speculate. Whatever, all three are douchebags. Actually I take it back. The little fag and Awnald are douches. The other gay dude at least says hi and isn't snooty like the other two.

Okay, good night,
Your Scallop Observing Pope-a-nator

I'm Back, New Job

I had a fucking blast on my little time in the woods. I fished, looked for alligators, hiked, visited historic sites, stalked a bird and ate ungodly amounts of food.

Then I started my new job. At first I was a little apprehensive. Yeah, I worked there before. I know people there. I know the product. I know the systems. I know the computers. Yet, I didn't know the new testing. I worked in the same building ten years ago but I worked in a different section. I have to learn a whole new set of lab tests. Had I been returned to my old section I could have skated. Ten years is a long time but I still remember how to run a lot of those tests. It wouldn't take me near as long to train.

The good news is I get to work straight days for at least four to six months while I train. The eve better news is that if someone in front of me on seniority list dies or retires, I move u one slot and get a permanent straight day job. That's the reasoning management gave me for placing me in the new section. It's where they expect the next retirement to occur so they saw no point to train me for a few months only for me to have to move and train again. Not like I really have a choice. I got my marching orders and I have to go. In this economy I'm grateful for my job.

My training hasn't gone to bad. My trainer isn't the friendliest guy. He doesn't like to be bothered. He had me follow him around the first two days but told me to go away every once in a while. So I went and met the new people and reintroduced myself to my old coworkers. The second two days I did a lot of hands on. I could tell he was getting frustrated with me sometimes. I made a few mistakes but hey this is all new to me. He's taking a sensei-grasshopper approach to the training. He keeps emphasizing that he's passing on all his 18 years experience to me. I just nod and smile while thinking I need to hurry up and finish training.

The Scallops
I have a new name for my gay raving douchebag neighbors: "The Scallops." In college I worked at a video store where a prerequisite for management was to be a homosexual. Straight people were allowed to work there but only one manager was straight. The "girls" always referred to a woman or other gay man they didn't like as a scallop. So I figure it's a nice insulting thing to call my neighbor the gay douchebag. Hello, you little scallop.

The Car
I took my car in to get checked out. The good news is the engine is in great shape. I need to do some preventative maintenance like changing out the hoses, timing belt and heater hoses. The mechanic said it should last several years if I take care of it. Else I'll end up stranded on the side of the road some where. He figures around $800 for the work.

The bad news is that it looks like shit. Lily's brother painted it for me two years ago when it oxidized real bad. It was a stop gap measure. Hey I paid the guy $400 under the table. So I took it to a friend of a friend of mine. He gave me an estimate of $1900. He showed me the before and after pictures of his work. He does incredible work. Some the cars looked like total crap. It may seem like a steep price but the dealership is closer to $3000.

My reasoning is that fixing up the car for around $4000 is better than getting into a car note for the next five years. I gotta spend that overtime money on something that makes me feel happy. The teeth are a necessity. The car is my luxury.

The Women
I hear from them all but still haven't hadI a chance to see Sophia. I know it's a process to win her heart back.

Rebecca called me on Mother's Day to wish me a happy father's day. She cracked me up.

Of course came the moan and groan from Violet. Why didn't you call me she asked me today. Mother fuck woman. Your my friend. Not my mother, not my wife and not the mother of my children. Why the fuck should I call on mother's day?

As usual she asks me if I've heard from Rebecca. I told her about the father's day joke. Violet didn't laugh. A friend of mine said Violet is scared of losing me. I told my friend she lost me years ago. Violet last week twice told me to stay away from any of the new girls from work. At first I thought maybe she was joking. The second time she said it I don't think she was. She's starting to remind me of Rose on "Two and a Half Men." I'm expecting to finder climbing through my patio window any day now.

I made myself promise I won't spend so much time with her anymore. Yet I still find myself hanging out with her. I went and had lunch with her today. Tonight I'm going over to her place to watch a movie. I must fucking be bored. Maybe I'm better off hammering a nail through my dick.

Tomorrow is Terry Therapy Session day. She laughed because I called her in the middle of my camping trip to set up my therapy session for the month. She said,"Wow. Camping and you need therapy." We had a good laugh about it.

That's it for now. I'm going to go meet Violet. God I'm so stupid. Sophia, I need you to take me away from this broad.

THE FO SHIZZLE POPE-IZZLE

More Downtime, Gay Guy Douche Bag Neighbor

My transfer is official May 3 but I don't have to show up until May 8th. Since I'm changing shifts entirely I was going to have three of my four days off, work one day and then have four off. I decided to take the one day between shifts off. I get a week vacation by only taking one day off. Awesome.

I debated what to do with my off time. A three night stay at a lakeside state park is in order. I bought new camping equipment his weekend. Got fresh live worms and bait shrimp to. It's gonna be nice and relaxing. There is an old historic Confederate Veteran Reunion site nearby and a historic fort. Add that to fishing, camping, hiking and ungodly amounts of food and I have a great week planned. I'm turning off my cell phone and only letting a few know where I'll be at.


Douche Bags R Us
I've stated before and I'll say it again, I live in Douche Bag Central. We have a catered breakfast every Saturday. I went down there for the first time. Talk about an unfriendly bunch of assholes. Even the serving woman, who I just found out is my neighbor's maid, doesn't say shit to me.

Then there is the rave on the other side of me. Today I finally got to meet the raving neighbors. They were coming back from the pool while I was taking out the trash. To put it mildly, saying they were light in the loafers is an understatement. They were a couple of flamers. Not like I really care.

So being the friendly guy I am, until pissed off, I said hi to them. One was nice enough and said hello. The other looked at me like I was a piece of shit. Like how I dare say anything to his "partner." To hell with the little cock sucking douche bag.

Oh well, I'll be back in a week with how my first day on my new job went. Tell you how many people there that I hate off the bat. Hey, that's just how I roll.

Mindless Post

Not much to update. Came back from out of town and been at work since. I really need to slow it down. With the upcoming transfer I won't be eligible for overtime until I get trained. That's the only reason I'm working so much now.

May 3 is my official transfer date. May 4th I'm headed out the lake for a few days of R&R. I got a taste of the fishing bug last week when I went with my best friend. That was only for a day. I need at least three days out on the water now.

I worked graveyard shift last night and I had to be up at noon to see the Bitch counselor that work assigned me to for my little "drinking" problem. I'm just going through the motions and telling her what she wants to hear. It pisses me off that she thinks she can understand what I've gone through. I'm not a fucking down and out drunk. I made some mistakes. She wants to handle me with kid gloves. Like last year she freaked out when I said I was going to continue being a season ticket holder for the local NFL team. I felt like telling her to fuck off. I'm glad she called to postpone our appointment till next week.

My boss has the same attitude with me sometimes. She called me into her office a few weeks ago. She asked me how I was doing and all the usual things she thinks is helpful to ask a drunk. She then asked me how I was holding up with my moving and my transfer. If that was putting any pressure on me. I know what she's really asking me is if I'm getting the urge to drink. A big "FUCK YOU" formed in my vocal chords but I just said no and left it at that.

Fucking idiots.

Today on my half day off, I ran errands. I'm back at the grind for overtime on Thursday and Friday, off on Saturday and my regular shift starts on Sunday night. It should be my last one at my current job. I looked at the schedule for after May 3rd and I'm still on the books. I intend on asking what that's all about tomorrow.

Today I got an interesting call from the cute woman in my apartment leasing office. Security noticed someone casing my apartment. I'm on the first floor and they spotted him twice eying my patio. They chased him off the second time. She told me they think he was checking out my bike. I moved it inside. Security is still watching my place closely.

Finally, I called Rebecca today see if she wants to have a bachelor party with me Friday after work. I think we'll hit a strip club for shits and giggles.

The Usual Suspects...Violet, Rebecca & Pointdexter

Some Progress
I had my first extended break since I got my license back. I had pretty much been working nonstop, packing and unpacking. I’m still unpacking. Before I took my little vacation, I was getting aggravated in my seeming lack of unpacking progress. I’m still pulling shit out of boxes but the place is definitely looking better. The only thing that sucks is the walls are solid stone. I can’t use regular nails. I’m off to Home Depot to buy mason screws or TapCon.

Violet was over on Thursday and she arranged my living room for me. I’m moving it back the way I had it. At least she took the recliner with her. It was gumming up the works. I can now move the arm chair into the bedroom and have more room to place the couch and love seat in the living room the way I want.

My Violet Attitude
Speaking of Violet, she accused me of copping an attitude with her Thursday. She called me and asked me if I wanted her to come pick me up to go with her to her niece’s house. Before I could answer she said that she’d call me back. After she dropped off her niece, she called me again and asked if I wanted her to come by. She asked me how to get to my place from I-10. I told her I didn’t have a clue. There was no direct route. She then asked me if I really wanted her to come by. I said yes. That’s when she accused me of having an attitude with her. I asked her what the fuck was she talking about. She says when she called me to pick me up that I sounded angry. She felt I didn’t want her around and then when I told her I had no clue about how to get to my apartment from I-10 she felt I really didn’t want her around.

I told her I didn’t have an attitude. I don’t know where she got the idea. Maybe cause I don’t kiss her ass. She admitted as much. When she got to my place she said I spoiled her to much. That she wasn’t used to hearing an edge to my voice. I’m not sure if I had an attitude or not. All I know is when she asked me what I was doing I replied I was making sandwiches. Maybe I was a little annoyed that she was interrupting my meal.

On my little vacation I actually had a decent time. I dread going because I never know what mood my mother will be in. I don’t like family functions so I go to one event every year. Either a birthday party, wedding or holiday. One event. That’s it.

I avoided the family gathering at my cousin’s house on Easter Sunday. I really didn’t want to go. Just to many people. Plus I’m going to my aunt’s 80th birthday party in July. After that I’m done with big family gatherings.

I kept my little nephew home from day care to spend the day with him. I took him to a baseball game and then put up with his hyper ass for the last two hours I had him. It was fun.

Swollen Thigh, Fat Head
I visited my friend Pointdexter. He’s the ultimate dork. I was talking to Binks about him. Binks is amazed that Pointdexter is still the same 22 years after high school.

So me and Pointdexter are sitting in his living room shooting the shit. He then suddenly asks me have I ever had a spider bite. Huh? He shows me his thigh. He has an abscess the size of a quarter that’s oozing pus. A grapefruit size red area surrounds the abscess. I took one look and asked him if he’d seen a doctor. He casually tells me no. I told him three times he needed to get it looked at. I then pointed out my thumb that was infected and that the doc gave me antibiotics and it went down within 24 hours. He replied that he’s putting some stuff on it. I asked what stuff and he couldn’t recall. I tell you, he’s an idiot.

The Return of Rebecca
Rebecca returned from her Eastern European country two weeks ago. I really avoided calling her because I was afraid she’d give me bad news about her mom. I take that back. Not really afraid. I didn’t want to upset her if something happened. I didn’t want to put her on the spot and make her rehash the story if the worst had happened. It’s also why I had avoided calling her daughter while Rebecca was away. Gina is 14 and I didn’t think she’d want to rehash anything bad that happened to her grandmother.

Rebecca called me on Easter Sunday while I was driving to my mother’s. She was sitting in her favorite titty bar (no longer my favorite) wondering what I was up to. She said she had brunch with a friend and then decided to drop in the strip club. She said it was dead and since I wasn’t in town she was going home. I asked about her mom. She’s fine. Alive and kicking. Thank God!

Finally Fishing
On Wednesday I finally fired a fishing rod and drowned a worm in anger. It had been about three years since I went fishing. It was fun, it was relaxing and I some color to me. The fact that I didn’t catch many fish wasn’t important. The important thing is I had fun and relaxed.

I need to update more often so my writing won’t be so long winded. Brief updates are best.

That’s it. Time to put on the funny hat and go be Pope.

Pope JP3

Snakes on a Dream Interpretation

My friend Binks I think heat the nail on the head with his interpretation of my latest snake dream.

One thing you must understand is I'm deathly afraid of snakes; both poisonous and harmless.

He said the snakes represent two women in my life. The poisonous snakes represent Violet. Our relationship was nothing but toxic venom in my life.

The harmless snakes represent Sophia. He says that I'm looking forward to hopefully ending up wit her. By why is she represented by a snake? He says my fear of commitment.

I gotta agree, it sounds plausible.

First Post in Many Moons

I've been so busy lately I really haven't had any down time to myself. I ended up going to Louisiana to gamble and unwind at least for one night.

I think I'm done working overtime for now. Unless my transfer is still being held up. Once it goes through I'll be ineligible to work OT until I'm trained on my new job. And even then who knows when some will come up.

Terry Therapy Sessions X
Last week I had a pretty good therapy session with Terry. Sometimes I question the value of my therapy. Then we hit one out of the park. We really hit on how I've come to grips with my drinking problem and how I'm good at recognizing my triggers.

One night I was tired and bored. I also had been working my ass off and in the process of packing and moving. Also I was a bit disappointed with something. I came home and turned on the TV. I didn't think about drinking. But as the night wore on, I realized that this was the exact situation in which I'd turn to alcohol. I'd just drink to oblivion and consequences be damned. I was rather proud of myself recognizing the situation and not following my old habits.

Terry said that recognizing those triggers is key. Of course they say the same thing in rehab. The problem is having either the will power stop yourself or realizing you are on the path to relapse.

I also told her how guilty I felt when one of my friends was hit by a drunk driver. It was overwhelming and I had nothing to do with it. She said that was a transfer of the guilt because I know I could have been the one hurting others. Even though I had no part of it, I felt the pain inflicted on my friend by another who's behavior mirrored mine. She said that pain I felt was real and in the future it should help me stay on the straight and narrow.

We closed on the subject of my mother (every therapist's dream!). I brought up the incident when my mom lectured me when I told her I went with some friends to play cards. She said the best way to handle it is the way I have in the past. I'm good at drawing boundaries with my mother. I put my foot down when I feel she's crossing a line. This is no different. To empathize some with her because I have blown that trust with her. But she also has to realize I am an adult and still make decisions that don't concern her. I told Terry that if my mother does continue this line with me I will eliminate her from my life. My sobriety is that important to me. I won't call, I won't visit. Nothing. I can't have her building those resentments in me. It's to dangerous. Terry said it probably won't go that extreme but if I do lay down the law my mother will more than likely respect it.

Violet's Piece of Shit Family
I'm not going to elaborate to much. Suffice it to say that of all the siblings, she does the most for her mother. Yet her mom and family insist on talking shit about her. Violet doesn't make a lot of money. She barely gets by. But her mom wanted a sewing maching. Violet saved a little bit each check and bought her one. Her mom didn't like it. She bitched and moaned that it didn't have enough features. Of course, Violet was hurt to her core. I felt bad for her but what can I do?

I can sense the deep depression that's coming on. Her whole family just trashes her. It's very unfair and uncalled for. I called her at work on Monday and she was in tears. She never loses it like that at work. That's the one place she can hold it together, not withstanding the times she's walked out on a job. The first thing I warned her was about leaving her job. I tried to reinforce the feelings she had when she came back from Florida and had no job. I told her to think real hard about that experience. She needs to keep it together. I will not bail her out of any trouble she gets into if she walks on this job.

Rebecca and Her Mother
Mothers seems to be the theme this entry. Rebecca had to return to her country (an eastern European country) to see her mom. She hadn't seen them since 2004. Her mom was hospitalized. I didn't know her condition at the time. I'll probably text Rebecca's daughter and see if she's heard from her.

More Snakes on a Dream
I had another snake dream. Me and Binks were on one of our fishing excersions. He was in a boat and I was in the water fishing. A few snakes swim by and it doesn't bother me. Keep in mind that I absolutely hate snakes. I freeze up when I see one in the wild and I can't kill it. I don't get scared until I see a water mocassin floating in the water. The snake is perfectly still but is waiting for something to float by so he can kill and eat it. I point it out to Binks but I keep fishing. Then several small snakes start swimming by. I'm starting to get a little panicky but I don't leave the water. I see a second cottonmouth laying in wait for its prey. And more snakes. I ask Binks if he sees them and he does. More snakes. It's when I see the third cottonmouth that I decide it's time to go. This time the snake is coming toward me. Last thing I remember is I was neck deep in water making my way to the boat.

That's the third snake dream I've had in recent months. I did a little dream interpretation research. One of the things it symbolizes is change in one's life. Well moving and turning 40 are definitely changes.

Sophia Sighting
I talked to Sophia briefly a week ago. She said she'd call me back. She was in pain and at the chiropractor. She didn't call back that evening. I was kinda put off by that. The thing that I was disappointed about in the trigger I mentioned earlier was Sophia. At that time, I hadn't heard not a peep from her. I had run up the surrender flag and given up on her.

Then Sunday we had a nice talk. One of the things I feared is I had lost her to another man. I didn't ask and I could gather from what she told me that she isn't seeing anyone. After we talked she said she'd like to see me. That was a relief. She explained to me that she works and after work she just goes home and rests and spend a few nights a week with her grown sons. Understandable. She realizes that they will one day move on and momma won't be a priority so she's enjoying it while she still can. But she promised me we would see each other on a weekend.

I was so relieved and happy that we talked. I fear losing her. I now just have to win back her heart.

Well that's it for now. I'm off to bed. Got the profile and photos the dentist has to do in order to get fitted for my invisaline braces.

Good night.

Entering My 5th Decade

In case you didn't notice, there was a star in the east yesterday to commemorate my birth. I only allow the star to shine multiples of 1o of my birthdate. I did it first at age 10 and thought it was pretty cool. I did it again the next few years but decided I shouldn't show off so much. So I didn't allow the Easter Star to shine again until my 18th birthday. Then again on my 20th and 21st birthdays. Since then I allowed it only on my 30 and 4oth birthdays.

I've been to busy packing, working overtime and walking a fine line going out with Rebecca and Violet. Rebecca knows I run around with Violet but Violet has no idea that I've been hanging out with Rebecca.

Things got interesting between me and old Baby Becs the other night. She had a few drinks and she snuggled up to me as I walked her and her daughter back to thier car after a fun evening. She gives me a nice open mouth kiss before she gets in the car. Minutes later she calls and wants to meet me after she drops off her daughter.

I figured this was going to lead to hot sex. I hesitating a little. I wanted the sex but I didn't want the clingyness of her afterwards. She gets like that. She saved me making a decision by calling me and postponing for another night. I know I'll fuck her. Get enough drinks in her and a trip to the nudie bar and she's good to go.

I'm off to bed. Just worked a graveyard shift overtime. Sleep for a bit, then I have to wake up, call the electric company to turn on the power at my new digs and the cable. Then meet Violet so she can go with me to order the new furniture.

Fuck I thought I was going to have a few days to myself once I started driving again. In a month now I've had two days where I did absolutely nothing. I took a few days off from work next month to try and catch my breath.

I see a visit to the strip club this afternoon for a few lap dances in celebration of my birthday.

I've had my driver's license back a little more than two weeks now. I can't fucking how busy I've been. I can come and go as I please, eat out and see friends again. And yes I thought about sneaking in a beer but fuck it. Not now.

As I said before the first person I saw was Violet. She's a nutty fucking bitch. I went to visit her again last week at work. She's supposed to go see my new place and help me pick out some furniture. I need a whole new set up. I'm throwing most my shit out. I told her if she were good I'd take her to the rodeo grounds to. Damn rodeo is in town.

The Harpies
I was trolling for sleaze at a local strip club (bad habits die hard) when my phone vibrates. It's Rebecca. She asks me where I'm at (she can hear the stripper music in the background). I tell her where I'm at. She asks me to meet her and we set up the time. We are having a good time. She's drinking and I'm buying. The good thing with her is that she would never pressure me to drink. In fact when the waitress asked me what I'm having Rebecca ordered a Coke for me. Then she threatened to kill me if I had been drinking at the strip club. For the record, I hadn't.

So we are having a good time bullshitting and catching up. She apologized for not coming over more often. I told her to forget about it. Which is true. It's over and done with. I'm not looking at my past. What happened happened. Let's enjoy what life has for us now.

Then came the first whine of the night. She said no matter what we should always have each other in our lives. I agreed. She's a bad girlfriend but a great friend. Well besides me, I think she's the friendless person.

Then she said, alcohol induced I'm guessing,"I thought otherwise when you didn't call me on Valentine's Day." I wracked my brain thinking why are you asking me this. I let it go. I told her the truth. I was working a 16 hour day. Valentine's was the furthest thing from my mind.

Then the fucking Harpies walk in. They used to be friends of ours but I only consider them her friends now. I have no fucking use for them. Their comments and behavior on this night only reinforced the thought.

The music at the place is loud so me and Rebecca are sitting close and in order to hear the other talk. The Manatee With Feet just asked me,"Well I see you're still in love with Becky." I just shot her a dirty look that meant to say it's none of her business. All it did was open the door for more Rebecca whining.

"I'm used to getting flowers from him on Valentine's Day. Nothing this year."

To which Manatee With Feet said to me,"Oh so you are seeing someone else now? Come on tell me, who are you cheating on tonight being out with her."

"No one," is all I said. I felt like saying no one and even if I was it's none of your damn business. And I wanted to ask,"Why are there four of you where there used to be one?" But I didn't.

The Manatee With Feet further aggravated me with her bragging about this guy she was fucking. When Rebecca pointed out that he was married, Manatee With Feet replied how the hell did she know. Rebecca replied that she knew all. Rebecca then told her what a mistake she was making. Manatee With Feet went to lengths to defend herself and saying she knew but he wants her and not his wife. I already couldn't stand the bitch but this makes it worse.

Then the Old Blond Bitch chimes in with,"I'm a man trainer. I understand what she's doing. I can break any man. I'll have him whipped and trained in now time." I was thinking Bitch, I'd put my foot so far up your ass you could taste my shoe. I was just disgusted by these women.

Rebecca could sense I was getting angry. Finally I told her I'm leaving. I had had enough of the two Harpies.

The Great Apartment Search

I turned out great. Most the places I looked at turned out to be owned by the same company. I told renter agent I was working with that I got sick of looking at the same style apartments by the same company. But the one that I did find was fucking awesome. I also was the last one on the list for the day.

I almost thought why bother. It's fucking to nice and probably expensive. It is a little expensive but it's less than the top price I'd put for renting. So I went ahead and put in the application. I'll be moving in to what is probably the nicest place I've ever lived in about three weeks.

I thought what the hell. After all I've been through, all I've put up with and the year without the drivers license that I deserve a beautiful place that would make me happy. It's all part of the new beginning.

I've got more but fuck it. I don't feel like it right now.

Rebecca has been hounding me to go out with her again. What the hell! I'll make her happy. I'll call her tomorrow and set up something for Saturday. Then it's Violet on Sunday. No Sophia yet. Soon. Or maybe not.

Good night,
The Pope