Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Uh shit

The Pope has some problems. I don't want to post them here. My life was going good and then the train went off the rails again.

SallySal....thanks for being here for me. Your support has been very helpful and unwavering. I'll keep you updated...

Good night too all. Sorry if I don't update for me.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Is Baby Beccs Lonely?

I called Rebecca on Monday. She asked me what my schedule was for the week and I told her I was working through Thursday and possibly Friday. She just wanted to know my schedule.

On Tuesday my Mom called me and left a message that her surgery had finally been scheduled for this coming Monday. I leave for her place on Sunday. My mom really didn't believe I was coming until I reassured her I planned it for months.

I tried calling Violet to tell her that the operation had finally been scheduled. She didn't answer until today.

Lily's little boy is very sick. Actually I'm very concerned about him. He's not eating and has the shits. I asked Lily if he's been drinking fluids. She didn't answer my text on that question. She told me not to worry cause I had things of my own to worry about in my mother.

I purposely left Rebecca out of the loop. I finally called her on Wednesday to let her know my mother's situation and how long I'd be gone. She called back and said she wanted to see me before I left cause it would be two weeks before she saw me again. I laughed to myself. It's been a month since I've seen her so what is another two weeks? She wanted to meet this coming Friday in Houston so I agreed. She called me back half an hour later and asked if we could go out on Saturday instead. I told her no cause I had my football game which I sacrifice for no one. She then asked about Thursday (last night as of this writing) and I said yes.

We met for dinner and she actually paid for us. Her first question after dinner was,"What time will you be done with the game? I was thinking we could meet some where afterwards. You know to have a few drinks before you leave." I told her we'll see.

She then later asked me,"Well what are you doing tomorrow? If you want, we can still meet in Houston? I have nothing to do after I take Gina to her stylist."

Okay so she cancels our Friday dinner and reschedules to Thursday. At Thursday's dinner she asks if she can see me on Saturday and then later asks if we can meet on Friday.

I'm a humble guy but come on Becca. I know she realizes how bad she fucked up with me. Too bad. I've moved on baby. She even wants to make plans for when I get back.

Me thinks Baby Beccs has gotten lonely.

Finally a Days of Our Lives update:

I finally called William just to find out what's up with the job search. He told me he has to offers out of state. I told him I'm glad but I hate to see him go. That's the selfish part of me talking though. I hate to lose people close to me but I can see why they have to move on.

My friend Apu's Dad is in serious health trouble. I call Apu's Dad Pops. Pops is one of the most amazing humans alive. Though I don't know his details as a UN diplomat I've heard a few stories. He's the closest thing I know to being a real life James Bond. Sadly he's slowly dying of diabetic complications. On Monday, the doctors amputated his right leg. It's horrible and sad to see such a strong man reduce to what he is now.

As much as I've talked up Sophia, she has one thing about her that she must change before I can seriously consider her as relationship material. I'm sorry but I can't reveal what that is. Somethings are too personal for me to talk about and this is one of them. It's not a drug problem, it's not an addiction problem of any kind. It's just something that I cannot deal with as a full time boyfriend. Until she changes this one item, I can't consider a serious relationship.

Well, I'm sure the Pope has more on his mind but it's bed time....

Good night, take care and as Pope...I love you all...
P JPIII

Monday, August 20, 2007

Injustice

So there I was sitting at a restuarant bar having a beer and waiting for my late lunch. The place wasn't busy. Sitting to my left a few seats over was a black gentleman about my age. Three times he requested a refill from the waitress and all three times she walked right pass him.

On the next time around, he said, "Excuse me, young lady, can I have a refill?"

She turned around and said,"What did you say, boy?"

What the fuck? Did I just hear a white waitress call a black man "boy"?

He was livid. I was shocked. He said,"What did you just say?"

She said,"I have a name tag, you didn't have to call me what you did."

"I called you young lady." I tried to explain that to her. They started yelling at each other and then she went to the back.

Out comes a manager and tells the black man that he has to leave. I tried to back up the black man and tell the manager what happened. The manager wouldn't listen to me. He escorted the man out the door. The manager came up to me and explained that the man was a street person and that they sometimes feed him. He had to escort him out cause he was deflating. I said huh? He said he was deflating. I told him I didn't want my order. The waitress came back out with my order and I told her I don't want it. I paid for my beer and left. Look it was bad enough what the girl said, then the man was escorted out but the manager tries to explain it to me that he was a street person? I'm sorry but if he meant homeless, the man looked far from homeless.

I walked out pretty pissed off. I looked up the corporate headquarters address and wrote a letter about the incident. I'm not sure how or if they will respond. I even enclosed a copy of my receipt because it had the time, date and name of the waitress on it.

Oh in case you are wondering, the place is Hooters.

Signing off,
The Pissed Off Pope

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Now is that wise?

Sophia. The name comes from the Greeks meaning "wisdom." It's a beautiful name. If I had a daughter that would probably be her name. Sophia, of course, isn't the real name of this new character in my little melodrama. I chose it for her though because I think Sophia is a remarkable woman.

She's smart, beautiful and hard working. Three things I admire in a woman. She's tough on her two sons. Made them finish high school and made them choose a skill to work since neither was intending on going to college. Her oldest just graduated from the fire academy. Her youngest is going to school for EMT and then is thinking about going to the fire academy too.

It's the second son she's had trouble with and I thought she handled it with strength and skill. She didn't freak out and go Mommy Dearest on him. Nope, with a cool calm hand she laid down the law and set up rules for him to live by. He even had to submit to drug tests randomly that Sophia buys at Walgreens. He asks why she keeps him under her thumb and she says what he did made her lose trust in him and that by living and obeying her rules is the only way he can earn it back.

She had a real scare on time recently with the younger son. He came home late one night and he looked like he was high. He couldn't walk straight or keep his eyes open. Sophia asked him what he was on. Nothing, he said, just really tired. She didn't believe him and ran off to Walmart to buy a home drug test kit. He was stunned and asked why. She just told him that he knew why. He went and took the piss test and it came back clean.

When the older son was going to take his drug test to enter the fire academy Sophia told the younger son,"Let's go take your brother." They did and once there Sophia asked the nurse how much is it to take a drug test. $400. Sophia looked at the younger boy and said,"You're getting tested too." He said,"Why, Mom, you test me all the time at home." She said,"Yes, but this test is much more accurate." He agreed and she was so relieved it came back clean. She told me she didn't know what she was going to do if he failed it.

She works full time running her own clothes business and also sell cosmetics that she gets from another person. Her goal though is to finish school as a medical assistant. She's doing really well with that. She's enjoying it entirely. She says she's loves learning so much. She finished in March 2008.

If anything, she has my upmost admiration and respect. When I first met her I admit I sold her short. The more I got to know her, the more respect I had for her.

FAQs about Sophia
Is she relationship material? That's definitely a yes.

Is a relationship possible? I think it's highly unlikely right now. At least while she's in school.

When could conditions make a relationship possible? Once she's out of school and working her chosen field. Right now she's at school all day, works trying to sell her clothes and cosmetics and then studies until late at night. Basically she has no time for a relationship.

So, please join the Pope in welcoming Sophia to this little character play of mine.

Paavi Hannu Paavali III (Finnish)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Rook takes Bishop

I've been on a spending spree lately. I moved into the 21st century and bought a Samsung Blackjack cell phone and a new laptop. My other cell phone was so ancient but I think this new one can control satellites orbiting Saturn. Now I look at it and wonder what the hell did I get this for? I make like one or two calls a day and hardly anyone calls me. A fuck it, I had to do something with that overtime I've been working, right?

Last night at work I started getting anxious. My mom's doctor still hasn't scheduled her surgery. I've only taken two vacation days from work. I can only carry over a certain amount of hours to next year. Over that amount and I lose it. I started looking at the vacation schedule and well there are only four months left in the year. Of course, November and December are all booked up. I was stuck with October since now I'm leaving September open to help my mother out after her surgery. Fortunately I found two weeks I can take off. I'm ready for Florida.

I sometimes call myself the Redneck Mexican. I knew I was officially a redneck when after a fishing trip I brought back my live worms and stored them in the refrigerator to keep them alive for the next time out. I've been fishing all my life and there is nothing more relaxing than sitting on a bank of a river or lake and fishing.

I've hunted too but my hunting career wasn't very successful. I still remember that damn buck jumping the fence and laughing at me. Me and two of my friends went out to my friend's dad's ranch. We split the ranch up three ways in order to avoid shooting each other. I had scouted out the land I wanted to hunt and figured out where I would set up my brush deer blind. The next morning I went to my spot and started to gather up deadwood and brushes to hide behind. As soon as I finished and sat down I heard a loud noise. I turn to look and I see this beautiful deer running along the next field. I can't shoot cause it isn't my friend's land the deer is on. He must have been sitting there watching me the whole time and waited for me to sit down. I could have sworn I heard him laughing as he raced across that field.

I mentioned fishing cause I'm watching some shows on the Outdoor Channel. They were showing some swordfish round up and feeding on school of fish. It was amazing. The swordfish come in from different directions and force the other fish to school. They then take turns going in to feed. I'm always amazed by the wonders of nature.

Also a new character to introduce. Her name is Sophia. When I first met her almost two years ago I didn't think much of her. Physically she's beautiful but something didn't click. I also didn't think much of her because she was hitting on me when it was obvious that I was with Rebecca. However as I got to know Sophia better I realized she's a wonderfully remarkable woman and that I had short changed her. Back in March I started to get confused. I started to wonder if I had feelings for her or just becoming infatuated with her. I started to question if my feelings for Rebecca were genuine. I almost melted down. Before I made a mistake, I decided not to explore anything further with Sophia and ruin what I had with Rebecca. I sent Sophia a text message today and she called me back. I'm meeting her for a late lunch in two hours. More if any details develop.

Now onto Papal business. I introduced some of the Cardinals and now I have my first bishop. You know him as Carlos Mencia. I call him the Bishop of Comedy. Dave Chappelle was up for the spot too but he walked away from his show on Comedy Central. Keep working Carlos and one day you may make Cardinal too. Now for a sermon from Bishop Mencia:



I don't think I'm going to wear my full vestments today. I'll just humble myself and wear the simple robe of a monk.

Deutschland Uber Alles,
Papst Johann Paul III

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Barkeep, there's a tear in my beer

It's been quiet lately on the home front here. Rebecca, Violet and Lily are their usual selves. What a cast of characters?

As I wrote in a previous post, Rebecca has been awfully nice to me lately. Violet, and I agree with her, says it's because she has no one since we split up. Violet did piss me off when she told me I had to cut all ties with Rebecca. I told her to wait a second. She kept trying to talk but I cut her off. I told her that was like someone else telling me not to talk to her anymore. Violet answered back that it's not the same since I love Rebecca and not her. I let it drop. I could have reminded Violet that at one point in my life I was deeply in love with her. I could have reminded her that she was the one who left the first time. I could have thrown so many things back at her but I didn't. The aggravation of fighting with her isn't worth it.

Then Miss Violet let's me in on what is going on with her love life. This guy that she's supposedly not seeing has got her all pissed off. She says she got a call at work from some woman telling her to stay away from Joe Dickhead (I can't think of another name right now). This other woman told her to stay away from her boyfriend blah blah blah. Now Violet is depressed. She said she didn't want to get involved with Joe Dickhead again. Yet her she is telling me how depressed she is cause of this other woman and how he broke her heart again.

Jesus, and she wants to give me advise on how to run my life?

All this happened on Saturday. I called her today cause to check up on her. She says she's with a client but to call her back. I do. She tells me she still can't talk. Something sounded wrong. I asked her if she was okay and she said no and that she will try to call me today. No she won't. I know it's going to be her typical bullshit.

As for Rebecca, I got a feeling she's going to lay some kind of bullshit on me too. Last time I talked to her was on Saturday. She asked if I wanted to do something that night but I had plans to go to the football game. Hey I'm a season ticket holder and I'm not missing my Texans games for nothing. She then asked me how my schedule was for the next week. She seemed nervous. When I told her my next day off isn't until Wednesday she kind of just said okay with a very nervous laugh. I wonder if it's because she's going through with the business deal with her ex-husband. Sorry, I just can't say what it is.

Lily sent me a text message that she's feeling better. She said she's no longer feeling depressed and lonely. I asked if she had met someone new. No, just an old friend came back into her life and it makes her happy. Good, I hope she finds some happiness. We all need it.

I an altruistic move by me, I auditioned for a charity that tapes books and other material for the blind. I don't think I passed the audition. I flubbed a few of the words on the list and then stumbled a few times on the article. I'll know in a few weeks. The good thing is that there are other things with the charity that I can help out with. Plus if I volunteer at least 20 hours Big Oil Company that I work for will donate $500. Part of being Pope is being involved with charities. Try it yourself, you just might like it.

Be safe and spay or neuter yourself to prevent over population.

Signed,
Just the Pope

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Uh Oh

I talk to Violet just about every day. Today she must have been in one of her moods. By that I mean unstable. She sounded distant and distracted. She asked how I was doing and how things were going with my mom’s surgery. I told her the date hadn’t been set yet.

Of course, she did her usual bitching at me. I have been complaining about my cell phone lately. So today she asked if I had a new one yet. I said no. She asked why not. She said I make a lot of money so I should go buy one. I told her that wasn’t the point. I’ve been busy as hell at work. She then countered with the fact that stores are open until 9:00 p.m. and that I could go get a new phone after work. Never mind that I work 12 hour days and haven’t had consecutive days of in two weeks. Not only that but some things are more important to me than wanting a new phone. I told her that sometimes after work I want to see my friends. I have to drive back to Houston to see them and once I’ve had dinner and a few drinks with them I’m ready to go home. She kept her nagging and I almost hung up on her.

I then told her I’m planning to go to Florida once I’m done with taking care of my mom after her surgery. I’ve been given approval to take up to six weeks unpaid leave to help my mother. So currently the plan is take care of mom, go on vacation and then move. I told Violet that while I’m in Florida I want to see her. She’s just quiet and then says,” If I’m still here.” I asked her what she meant. She said she could pack up her car and back to Houston soon. I’m thinking to myself oh shit.

It’s her life and she can do what she wants. I’m just curious how she will behave toward me once she’s back. Is she going to expect me to call her every day? Is she going to expect me to spend time with her? She’s hinted about all these things in the past. She’s my friend and all but I have no interest in rekindling any kind of relationship with her.

Maybe I’m jumping the gun. I just wish she would quit calling me her impossible love. I asked her what that meant. She said I’m the person she’s always loved and she’ll never have me again so I’m impossible. She says she fell in love with me years ago when we met and never stopped loving me. I was honest with her and told her I don’t love her. I stopped loving her a few years ago.

She cried that I forgot her…..that’s a story for another time.

As the great Bob Marley sang,” No Woman, No Cry”

Yes, the Pope listens to reggae and likes the Rasta philosophy.
Goodnight,
Pape Jean Paule

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Yugo, Hugo and Igo..where's my underwear?

On the Road With Sean Penn and Hugo Chavez

Hugo Chavez. What a clown. His obsession with the U.S. is unreal. Like every dictator since time immemorial, Chavez needs a menacing enemy to distract his own people from seeing the mess of their own country. Hitler had the Jews, Stalin had his own officers, South American dictators in the 70s and 80s had communist insurgents. Now Hugo has the Americans. Boo, made him flinch. He rants that the Americans are at his doorstep. Never mind that we are tied down in Iraq and Afghanistan. We are preparing to invade Venezuela for it's oil.

Chill out, Hugo. It's cheaper for us to buy the oil from you for several reasons. First, it would take at least a year for the U.S. to build up the Armed Forces. Second, since we are tied up in two other wars, a draft would have to be started. You think that's going to fly at home front? Third, we'd have to some how pay for that military build up to invade Venezuela. After the build up, the Armed Forces still have to be paid, fed, trained and equipped.

See Hugo, we are just not that interested in your country and oil. Short of Venezuela somehow attacking U.S. interests or harboring major league terrorists, the U.S. doesn't have time or the energy to send an army into your country.

Take a closer look at home Hugo before you start talking about the USA. You don't exactly have the highest standard of living. You bought your way into office by subsidizing basic foods, gasoline and other goods. This may work in the short term but subsidies hurt the long term economics of your country. The day is going to come when the oil you sell won't be able to support the subsidies and prices will rise. Of course, the people will demand that prices be lowered. Sooner or later inflation will set in and even if the subsidies stay in place, the prices will still go up.

Capitalism, Hugo, is the way to go. With your government paying for basic stuff what's the motivation to innovate, work hard and build for the future. Instead the people sit back, get the government money and go to their stale jobs. You maybe in power for a long time but you country is going to stagnate. Just take a close look at your buddy Fidel. His island country is locked in a 50s time warp. Even the Chinese realized that capitalism is the way to go. Yes, they are still officially communist but the middle class is growing and China is starting to see the value of private ownership.

I know you aren't going to give up but you've already lost. Too bad your ego is so huge because the only thing that can save the Venezuelan people from Hugo is Hugo. Sorry to say that isn't going to happen.

Bet you didn't know that this pope keeps up with world affairs.

On a less political note. I left out one detail about my evening with Lily on Sunday. I got off work and came home to shower. As I went to get dressed. I opened up my underwear draw and no underwear (boxer jockeys if you must know). Okay, the don't all fit in one draw so I opened up the next one. Nope no underwear there either. Uh oh. No clean underwear. Oh well, I just had to go to dinner commando.

Finally listen to my blessing.

Johnny Dangerously's death walk.

Good night all.
Pope John Paul III

Monday, August 6, 2007

Who hit the snooze alarm?

Saturday night I went out with Rebecca. She sure has been awfully nice to me lately. I have a good time with her but the trust is gone forever. I was working Saturday and thought to myself,"Call Rebecca." Nah, just go home, eat and watch a movie. About 15 minutes before I leave work Rebecca calls. She asks what I'm doing and we ended up making plans to meet for dinner.

Rebecca is a character to say the least. Her ex-husband dropped a business proposal on her. He's not only a crook but a bad crook at that. Anyway, I don't want to go into details of the deal. I'll only say that it involves a lot of money and while it maybe legal there is a lot of gray area in it. I just told her what it was none of my business and also informed her what I new about the law concerning their deal. She told me that's why she told me about the deal cause I wouldn't judge her and I would give my honest opinion and the straight deal about consequences. She then invited me to go out to the place where she met that other guy. I told her no. It was getting late and I had to go to work in the morning.

Silly me. I only had a couple of drinks with dinner so I didn't even have a buzz. I stopped to get some gas and while there I picked up some beer. I really didn't think I drank that much of it once I got home. When I got up for work Sunday morning I saw the last song on my computer that I had listened to. Okay Willie Nelson is cool but his version of "Silent Night"?

Sunday night I ended up seeing Lily. She's gotten herself into deep shit financially. She mentioned she was close to foreclosure on her house. The good news is that the company she's working for hired her full time so she's getting a good sized raise and benefits for her and her kids. We had a nice dinner and a little groping afterwards but the Pope didn't hit a homerun.

And now for some official papal business.

Like every king needs a court and every rap star needs an entourage, every pope needs his posse too. So tonight I'm installing my first cardinals and bishops. I thought long and hard and vetted everyone so as not to embarrass my papacy. Each was looked at and selected based on their overall service and contributions to human kind. So without further ado I introduce:
Cardinal Orethnal James Simpson - an outstanding athlete in college and professional football. Several years after his playing days were over he still manages to stay in the public eye.

Cardinal Ike Turner - for adding to our culture with his music.

Cardinal Ted Kennedy - for his and his family's political and philanthropic contributions to the American society.

Cardinal Robert Blake - for Beretta. I mean come on saying "Beretta" and I don't have to explain it any further.

Cardinal Scott Baio - from his Wikipedia entry ( we all know dating really means fucking in this case):
Baio is also famous for dating several actresses, among them, Pamela Anderson, Erika Eleniak, Nicole Eggert, Natalie Raitano, Nicolette Sheridan, Brooke Shields, Denise Richards, Julie McCullough, and Heather Locklear. In his VH1 reality series Scott Baio Is 45...and Single, he admits to losing his virginity to Erin Moran. In July 2007, he told E!: Entertainment Television's Ted Casablanca that he and current girlfriend Renee Sloan are expecting a baby in December....On the show Baio admitted that Playboy quietly banned him from the mansion for a period of time in the late 80's since he had dated each of that year's Playboy Playmates and then some, totaling 24. A spokeswoman from Playboy called Scott and told him that he needed to "slow down" and some of the Playmates he was with were also involved with Hugh Hefner.

Please join me in welcoming the new cardinals....

A B C...easy as 1 2 3, even the Pope needs to sing
Goodnight from the Sistine Chapel,
Pope John Paul III

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale

Today instead of days of our lives theme I have this one going through my head!



My last post I titled Sleep is for Wimps! Our saying college was "sleep" is for fags. Today I was a total faggot. I went to bed around 7 a.m. after drinking a six pack and some of the bottle of vodka Rebecca's daughter brought me from Eastern Europe. I cooked myself a nice breakfast around 4:30 a.m. No wonder I slept all day.

I went to Becca's store this evening and picked up her daughter and we went to their house so I could take a look at something that wasn't working right. I fixed the problem and waited while Gina took the dogs out and fed them. While I was waiting I looked out the window at the water and boats outside. I looked at the couch and remembered the evenings spent on there with Becca and sometimes after she went to bed me and her daughter would stay up watching movies. See this is the first time I've been to the place since we split up. I also wondered how many times she sat on that couch, doing the things we did, with that other guy she was seeing behind my back. I knocked it out of my mind pretty quick but it did occur to me.

We went to pick her up after she closed her store. We went to diner and had a few drinks. It was a nice time. Violet seems to think that Rebecca is missing me and realizes how bad she screwed up by cheating on me. I could be the case but I just couldn't go back to her. The feeling just isn't there anymore. Thing is me and Becca have been friends long since before we dated and we will long after our parting of ways. My friend Dee thinks I should sever all ties with Becca. That much I know I can't do.

Since I have to work at six in the A.M I decided to be a good little soccer hooligan and not go to tonight's game. Who knows what shennanigans I would pull tonight.

I've worked Special Olympics and I think that 'gloids rule:


I thought it was pretty cool for the crowd to help out and sing. Go ahead and laugh, you know you want to.

Well Alpha and Omega to everyone,
πάπας john paul III