Terry Therapy Session XVI and more

Terry Therapy
Last week was my monthly therapy session. I actually look forward to them. They are no longer a requirement by work but I choose to still attend on my own. I think it's better than those stupid AA meetings. Now that is a requirement but work doesn't follow up on it or ask me to get anything signed at meetings so I just don't go.

As for the session itself, we covered a lot of ground in my hour. Nothing earth shattering.

What Terry pointed out to me was how I've been channeling my frustrations, anxieties and all the other emotions that lead me to drink to other outlets. The two prime examples were when the transfer at work and my trainer were getting on my nerves. I talked to my supervisor after I was done training and asked for some time off. In the past I would have went straight for the bottle. I forgot exactly what else she brought up but that I took time out for myself one day and just went to a movie. Once again it was a situation where I would just decided to get drunk and numb myself for a while.

I also brought up the anger issue I've been having the last few months. She just told me that's a part of life. We all get angry. What matters is what we do with that anger. Do I got out and belt someone cause they pissed me off or do I walk away and calm down? Do I get angry and cause a scene at a store or do I go up the management chain to see I get what I need or want? I gave her the examples of my anger and what I did. She said I handled myself well. Also she pointed out that it was those exact scenarios that a few years ago would have pushed me off the edge and into a nice long drunk. She's right.

I also brought up my frustrations with Sophia. Terry just told me that I have to be patient. She says I'm handling it the right way. But if things don't work out I'll know when I have enough and will decide to move on. It's what everybody tells me about Sophia. Be patient.

Violet's Deep Dark Depression
I can't help her anymore. Violet's falling into a deep dark hole. She's falling into a spot where I can't reach her. Not only can I not reach her but I don't want to. I've given it my all to save her from herself. She can't muster up the courage to face her depression. I can't save her if she doesn't want the help.

It hurts to see someone who has been a big part of my life for over twelve years to suffer like she is. I feel very helpless. The best I can say is I did my best for her. I took all the steps possible to move past her problems. I can't carry her burden for her. She must carry the burdens herself. It's not to much for her to bare but it takes strength and courage. Strength and courage are virtues she doesn't have. She thinks she does but no one who does curls up in to a figurative fetal position and bury her head in the sand.

I can't allow her to drag be down with her. I'll always lend her an ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on but I refuse to be sucked down the abyss with her.

I think she's up to something drastic. I'm not sure what but she's up to something. I've tried to warn her that she's going to go a step to far and I'm going to cut her off from my existence. I value myself to much to allow her to throw me down one into my depressions.

This just maybe goodbye Violet. Forever.

I've got plenty more to write but just the lines about Violet took it out of me. Maybe I'll be back soon with more. I need to go clean my apartment to.

Your Almost Waving Goodbye Forever to Violet Pope!
Regards.