I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the frustration is building. My sleep cycle is so screwed up thanks to 14 years of shift work. It's 2:00 a.m. and I'm laying bed wondering when the fuck am I going to fall asleep. I worked the day shift and started my day at 4:30 a.m. the previous day. Yet it's 2 a.m. and I'm tossing and turning.

I have several issues with the way management is using me right now at work. By all rights I should no longer work nights except for overtime and the occasional time when it's necessary to cover vacation. I have seniority over several people that are working straight days.

One coworker that is junior to me came over in the transfer with me in 2009. She hasn't worked a night shift since the move. Another worker is junior to me by several years and she hasn't worked a night shift EVER. A contractor was brought in and he is working a straight day job. Two new hires are training. Once one of them gets trained enough I better start working day shift only.

I need to at least start medication to help me sleep. I use Lunesta but that shit only works occasionally and doesn't help me sleep through the night. My prescription ran out so I thought I'd give it whirl without meds. According to what I read, a short period of insomnia happens when you quit using the drug but you should recover quick. It's been two weeks. That's more than enough time.

I've tried Rozerm, melatonin, Ambien and Ambien CR. Rozerm and melatonin do nothing. Ambien makes me sleep walk and sleep eat. Ambien CR helps me sleep through the night.

I have two theories on the Ambien sleep walking/eating. At the time it happened, I was under enormous stress. I really have no clue when exactly it started but it happened after I picked up my third DWI. The other contributing factor was that Ambien went generic. For whatever reason, Ambien generic might be slightly different. I think the combination of my mental state and generic change may have caused my issues with Ambien. Afterward that episode, my doctor refused to give me the CR version too.

Right now I'm at wits end. I'm frustrated with the situation at work. The more I think about it the angrier I get. The angrier I get the less I can sleep. The less I sleep the angrier I get. The angrier I get the more frustrated I get. It's creating a vicious cycle.

I see a new shrink at the first of the year. I don't know if I should wait for him or see my personal doctor about the sleep issues I'm having.

On the seniority front, I need to talk to my Union rep and see what we can do about me bumping people off the day shifts they aren't entitled to.

Your Insomniac Pope,
JP III the Sleepy