Brain Games

I truly believe my subconscience talks to me. I previously described my dreams about the snakes and fish and how my bestest friend EVAR translated it to the women in my life.

My latest dreams weren't so subtle. In fact they were hitting me over the head. They were very clear of intent.

On August 27, 2009 I'll complete two years of sobriety. No alcohol or sleeping pill abuse. I did the rehab stint (third time is a charm) and never looked back. Basically it's been sheer will power and inner strength. It was hard at first and I still have my temptations but the worst is over.

Back to the dreams. For two nights in a row, I dreamed of and relived my memories of being in jail and going to court. In one dream I was up on a new charge of drunk driving and looking at prison time. I was scared and felt hopeless. That all I'd rebuilt over the last two years was lost. I would have been better off dead.

Each day I'd wake up and thank God for letting me get another chance at life. I could have lost it all. God is extremely merciful. Two years ago was my third strike. I was let off the hook with a wrist slap. I walked away with one year probation and a year license suspension. The guy before me in court did jail time and four years probation with a felony record. The judge reduced me to a misdemeanor. I can only chalk it up to God being there with me in court that day.

The dreams, I believe, are my mind and subconscience's way of reminding me how far I've come in life and how much I stand to lose.

I've cleaned myself up and things are better than ever before. I live in a beautiful place, drive two vehicles that I like (and not some beaten up old hoopty), have great friends who helped me during my troubles and a pain in the ass family that loves me in spite of the troubles I've caused.

So in a way I say thanks to my twisted mind for reminding me, not that I need it, how far I've come and how much I can lose.

Have a great night,
The Grateful Pope

P.S. - As always, smack the snot out of some kid today. You'll feel better aftwards.