Back to work this week

My doctor cleared me to return to work this week. I'm a bit nervous. I wonder if medical will ask if I have a drinking problem. They know about the three DWIs. The official reason I'm out is "major depressive disorder." So I'm hoping medical will leave it at that and not require any rehab or AA or some more bullshit.

The other thing that I'm anxious about is people asking me questions. I'll be riding in with a coworker and I'm sure people will figure out what happened. People are nosy and will still ask even though it's none of their fucking business.

Last week I officially completed the class requirements of my probation. The only thing I have to do is attend two AA meetings a week and stay out of trouble. It's all downhill from now until next February.

I think I'll go back to work for a month or so and then take a few days off to go visit my family. I haven't seen them since Christmas. I'd like to see my nephews and my best friend Binks.

I don't think me and Binks will be able to take our annual fishing trip to Lake Corpus Christi. I love going out there but I can't drive. Without a car there is no way to haul my fishing equipment to the lake. I suggested to Binks that he come visit me and we could hit one of the lakes around here. That way he could bring his truck with his equipment and load up my stuff and problem solved. I hope he goes for that.

I haven't been able to talk to Violet lately. I want to know how her doctor's appointment went. She told me the last time she went and said she was depressed the doctor told her that she wasn't. Violet said that if the doc doesn't give her antidepressants that she will find another doctor. I told her she should. She is in a bad depression right now and she needs help. She tried to kill herself four years ago. I think it's totally irresponsible for the doctor to not diagnose the depression. The signs are obvious.

Rebecca called me last week to see if I was okay. She got a collect call at her store from a correctional facility. They hung up before she could accept the charges. So she called me to make sure I hadn't gotten in anymore trouble. She knew it wasn't me but she had to check anyway. I don't know quiet how to take it. I guess it's good that she's concerned about me. But why am I the first person she thinks of when she gets a call from a prison?

My place is still a mess. I had all this time to clean up and I didn't. I started a little bit yesterday. I really have to start with throwing out all the magazines I've read. Then start boxing up the Playboys. I'm not getting rid of those. Hey that's quality stuff man. I think if I do a little bit here and there it will eventually get clean.

Well I'm just going to sit around and wait for my supervisor to call today. If I don't hear from her by this afternoon I'll call again. I hope she lets me return to my own crew and doesn't have me take care all the stuff I'm behind on using overtime.

I had been toying around with starting another website. Nothing special. Just something to do and post things I find interesting. I started two blogs besides this one. One is a general topic one and the other a sports blog. In order to preserve my anonymity on this blog though I can't link to them. This blog is my journal and I don't want my friends and family reading what I say about them.

Just to touch on the subject of returning to work once more. Despite my nervousness about returning, I also view it as the next big step in getting my life back to normal. I'm sober. I've come out of any depression. I've put my legal problems behind me. This is just the next step in my recovery.

Well that's all I have for now. I got to meet with Pope Benedict before he leaves.

Take care,
Pope JPTHREE