I swear if it wasn't for bad luck Violet would have no luck at all.

I was getting a bit pissed at her. I called her a couple of times since last week and she hadn't called back. That's usually a sign that something is wrong with her. I called her last night and told her to call me when she had time. What I didn't tell her is that I wasn't going to call her again. I get tired of her little games and only being a convenience to her.

Like a bad habit she comes back. This time with her latest tell of woe. Saturday after work she went to the bank and withdrew money for bills, her mom and Christmas gifts for her son. When she got home, she lives with her sister, someone assaulted her at the doorway. He took all her money, purse, phone and jewelery. The cops speculated he followed her from the bank. They also said she was lucky he didn't kill her. They said the way the robber hit her head against the brick wall was more than likely cause he was trying to kill her. They brought some suspects they had in custody but none of them were the robber.

The paramedics examined her but didn't take her to the hospital. Then sometime later, either that night or the next, Violet passed out five times. Her sister called an ambulance and they took her to the hospital. No internal injuries but the doctors told her she needed to eat, she's diabetic and she needs to quit her job and find a new one.

I agree that she needs to find a new job. She currently works for a payday loan company. She's in the office by herself most of the time. There is no security. There is also nothing between the customer and her when they are doing a loan. I've been in pawn shops and similar places. Many, not all though, have either a metal cage or a thick bullet proof glass. Her place has nothing. Recently someone who works for her company was murdered during a store robbery. It's not a good situation at all.

As much as a friend she is and as much as I care for her, I won't do anything for her anymore. I can't. If I want to keep my sanity and mental health in order I can't help her. I can listen and be a friend but not more than that. I can't give her money like I did to help her out of tight places. I can't offer her a place to live anymore.

I can't do all that stuff for her anymore. She never appreciated it in our time together as a couple. Only years later does she appreciate it but the ship has sailed.

I also can't do it because it's all part of moving on with my life that I've been working on with my therapist. It's all my idea but I'm talking and working it out with Terry.

So I can pray for Violet. I can be her friend. I can listen to her problems. I can do many things for her but I can't solve her problems for her anymore. She needs to learn how to stand on her own.

A few other topics on going with my life.

First, the move is still on target. While I still have my back up apartment on stand by, I've received some new places to look at. Some of them are down right bad ass and in the price range I want. Others are too small for the price. I can't make a decision until I see the places and the final rent but I'm still some what on the hunt. Even though I probably won't get a chance until the new year.

On the friend front, other than Violet's latest drama, everything else is pretty quiet. Not to say nothing is going on cause I'm sure something is happening. I just don't know about it.

Dee in Tampa has virtually disappeared. That's how she gets when she's seeing someone. She doesn't know how to take things slow. She goes all in. It's why she gets so crushed when things don't work out. At the same time, I'm glad she found someone else so she won't bother me anymore about us getting together. I'm still a little pissed but I shouldn't be.

On the work front everything is okay. The Jolly White Giant I hate so much is out sick again. He made it a few days before leaving in the middle of the shift on our last night. How convenient that he's sick during the holidays. I swear that son of a bitch doesn't know personal bounds. I've lashed out at him harshly when he crosses those bounds and will continue to do so.

So the goal last night at work was to make it through the end of the shift without someone calling in sick. This year I'm due to be off Christmas and New Years holidays. Someone always calls in on the shifts that are supposed to work. They have no conscience or regard for those of us who will be forced to work to fill in for them over the days we should have off. Sure enough, at 4:30 a.m. someone called in sick. Fortunately one of my coworkers figured out a schedule whereby no one has is forced to work any overtime. The on duty supervisor approved the improvised schedule and we got out of there without anyone else calling in sick.

I was going to volunteer to work some of the overtime just cause I wanted the money and holiday pay. It's about double time if I work on Christmas and Christmas Eve. As my off days approached I decided against it. I was finishing up a run of seven straight 12 hour night shifts. Enough is enough. I want to be off.

As for my Christmas celebrations, I plan none. It will be like any other day. I'll sleep late, make breakfast and piddle around the apartment. My mom asked me if I was coming over and I told her no. I told her don't plan on seeing me until sometime in February once I get my license back. I'm in no mood for flying or bus riding for the holidays. So each night I just light my ceremonial Hanukkah candles and that's it.

I'm sure there is more I can rant, rave, bitch and moan about but I think that's enough writing therapy for one day.

Up Yours,
The Pope