Today was the funeral of my friend. Sadly it was self inflicted. I don't know what drove him to his final actions. If he left a note or anyone knows anything, they aren't saying.
To me it doesn't matter. My friend is gone. I'll never know his state of mind when he did it. Maybe one day I will.
The whole affair has been heartbreaking. Less than 12 hours before his end, I was joking and laughing with him. Nothing seemed wrong. No indications or hints that something so tragic was coming.
I pray for his family. They will need the strength in the days and years to come. I pray for the two youngest. Seeing them and hearing the daughter speak just made things tougher.
At first I had hoped that the rumors were just that...rumors. No one wants to believe someone so close can take their own life. Yet it proved to be true.
At first I was shocked and stunned to hear about the death. Now I'm just saddened and heartbroken for him and his family. I keep saying to myself,"Goddammit, why did you do it?" Then I remind myself that more than likely he wasn't in his right mind anymore.
What ever the reason he did it, I hope it brings him the peace he was probably seeking. His actions may seem unforgivable and angering but his life is over. There is no reason to carry any bitterness or anger toward one who is no longer alive. I pray the family can move on and not guilt themselves into bitterness or hatred. Instead I hope they keep him alive in their hearts and remember him how they loved him best.
Personally, I feel sorry for him and his family. It's tragic. It's easier for me to let go. He's my friend and I'll miss him but we all have to move on. For me this event is tragic but I won't let it blemish my memories of my friend. Instead I'll remember the fishing trips, the beer drinking and the countless laughs we shared.
So long old friend. I hope you find what you were looking for.
The Still Grieving Pope
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment