Return from the Edge of Sanity

I'm beginning to think my mom's side of the family is inbred.

We had a big family reunion this weekend. I went thereby fulfilling my one obligatory family function per year. Someone dies or gets married then tough shit. I used up my family function visits for the year.

I had to spend the week at my sister's house since my mother gives away her rooms to out of towners and their guests while she will stick her own son on a small uncomfortable twin bed. A full size isn't comfortable for me anymore. I demand queen sized or better.

I go with my mom to my aunt's house to meet the out of town cousins and my God as soon as I saw them I heard the banjos going. Deliverance. Squeal like a piggy. You sure do got a purty mouth. Dueling Banjos. The visuals didn't stop. They must belong to the part of the family tree that doesn't branch. Holy shit I couldn't wait to get out of there. Cause then all the talk about God this and God that and amen and hallelujah how holy this and that.

So not only are they inbred, they are God freaks to. Maybe they think God is the road to redemption for the incest sins. I don't know.

At the big party on Saturday, I tell my cousin/goddaughter how I have this theory of our my grandparents (her great grandparents) were brother and sister. They were from a small community in South Texas. They had the same last name before marriage and the first names are eerily similar. Way back after the turn of the century, families didn't move around much. Small communities tended to consist mostly of family through blood or marriage. My guess is that they were at worst siblings, at best cousins. I told my cousin that at least it creates a new type of relative in our family. My sister is now my sister and cousin or sister-cousin.

Anyway, I complained to my sister all week about my mom's guests and how weird they were. At the party my brother, who I didn't see til the party, comes over to me and says he went by mom's to visit me. Instead he found a house full of freaks and weirdos. I love my family's sick sense of humor.

I avoided my mom the whole week. Just because I didn't feel like putting up with her or getting volunteered into anything. She has a tendency to make plans and not tell you that you are involved. She tried to get me to "volunteer" to take my aunt and uncle home after the party. I didn't budge from my stance of "you brought them, you take them home." My mom claims she can't see at night. I know it's bullshit cause she's out going to church, with her male friend and visiting my aunts at night. She just doesn't want to do it. I'm of the opinion not only if she brought them she returns them but why aren't my cousins bringing and taking their parents home? It's utter bullshit and I refuse to get sucked into the game.

Other than that I spent time with my bestest friend EVAR and spent some time with my nephews.

OH crap I gotta go back to work tomorrow. Fortunately I managed to turn this into a two day work week. I hate it when that happens.

Your Hardly Working Pope,
Jay-to-the-Pee-to-the-Three-Pope