Terry Therapy Sessions XVII

I couldn't schedule a face to face meeting with my therapist this month so we did a phone session.

The main topic to start was the death of my friend. I told her the details I knew about it. She asked me how I was coping. My coping was and still is in three stages: 1. Stunned and surprised. 2. Dammit, why did he do it. 3. Let it go because I'll never know his state of mind when he did it.

She asked me if his death brought any thoughts about using. At first I said no cause I really never thought about getting drunk. Then I remembered something. I told her I thought about having a beer in his memory since we used to go out drinking together. It was a fleeting thought though. I realized I have two years sober coming up next month. No need to break my sobriety yet.

I had some family issues between two cousins. They tried to drag me into their bullshit. I told them not to drag me into it. I was doing one of them a favor and that's it. So what if the other didn't like it. It was none of her business just like my business on why I was doing the favor. I was just helping someone out who asked and it was a reasonable request. Nothing more. Nothing less. Terry said I handled the situation perfectly.

She did ask me about Violet and how I'm handling her. I told her I was done. I tried my best but I can't help a person who won't help herself. I've tried to distance myself from her and not allow her to take me down.

I guess that was the major points. There was some follow up on how I was doing with things we discussed previously.

I guess the main thing for me was to get the suicide of my friend out in the open. Work provided a grief counselor and some coworkers asked me to go with them to see the counselor. I declined. The went for whatever reason they needed to go. I knew I had my session with Terry coming up and would discuss it with her.

Well, gotta schlep out of town for a few days. My aunt's 80th birthday is coming up. I commit to one family function per year and this one is it.

Adios,
JP3