Yugo, Hugo and Igo..where's my underwear?

On the Road With Sean Penn and Hugo Chavez

Hugo Chavez. What a clown. His obsession with the U.S. is unreal. Like every dictator since time immemorial, Chavez needs a menacing enemy to distract his own people from seeing the mess of their own country. Hitler had the Jews, Stalin had his own officers, South American dictators in the 70s and 80s had communist insurgents. Now Hugo has the Americans. Boo, made him flinch. He rants that the Americans are at his doorstep. Never mind that we are tied down in Iraq and Afghanistan. We are preparing to invade Venezuela for it's oil.

Chill out, Hugo. It's cheaper for us to buy the oil from you for several reasons. First, it would take at least a year for the U.S. to build up the Armed Forces. Second, since we are tied up in two other wars, a draft would have to be started. You think that's going to fly at home front? Third, we'd have to some how pay for that military build up to invade Venezuela. After the build up, the Armed Forces still have to be paid, fed, trained and equipped.

See Hugo, we are just not that interested in your country and oil. Short of Venezuela somehow attacking U.S. interests or harboring major league terrorists, the U.S. doesn't have time or the energy to send an army into your country.

Take a closer look at home Hugo before you start talking about the USA. You don't exactly have the highest standard of living. You bought your way into office by subsidizing basic foods, gasoline and other goods. This may work in the short term but subsidies hurt the long term economics of your country. The day is going to come when the oil you sell won't be able to support the subsidies and prices will rise. Of course, the people will demand that prices be lowered. Sooner or later inflation will set in and even if the subsidies stay in place, the prices will still go up.

Capitalism, Hugo, is the way to go. With your government paying for basic stuff what's the motivation to innovate, work hard and build for the future. Instead the people sit back, get the government money and go to their stale jobs. You maybe in power for a long time but you country is going to stagnate. Just take a close look at your buddy Fidel. His island country is locked in a 50s time warp. Even the Chinese realized that capitalism is the way to go. Yes, they are still officially communist but the middle class is growing and China is starting to see the value of private ownership.

I know you aren't going to give up but you've already lost. Too bad your ego is so huge because the only thing that can save the Venezuelan people from Hugo is Hugo. Sorry to say that isn't going to happen.

Bet you didn't know that this pope keeps up with world affairs.

On a less political note. I left out one detail about my evening with Lily on Sunday. I got off work and came home to shower. As I went to get dressed. I opened up my underwear draw and no underwear (boxer jockeys if you must know). Okay, the don't all fit in one draw so I opened up the next one. Nope no underwear there either. Uh oh. No clean underwear. Oh well, I just had to go to dinner commando.

Finally listen to my blessing.

Johnny Dangerously's death walk.

Good night all.
Pope John Paul III