The Nightwalker, The Terry Therapy Sessions VI

I had suspected I'd been getting up in my sleep and doing things. I was finding subtle things here and there moved. A book moved, a magazine moved, the place marker in book moved, the case of the missing pineapple. The things were so slight though that I thought maybe I did do those things and just didn't remember. The thought was there though since I occasionally take ambien to help me sleep.

Sunday I confirmed it though. I came home from work and started to relax on the recliner. I then noticed an empty carton of yogurt, a spoon, half of an eaten lemon and a knife on the coffee table. I knew right away that I definitely didn't eat before I went to bed the previous night. I figured there had to be half a lemon some where around the apartment. I looked in the fridge and in the trash but found nothing. I came into the bedroom and there it was on the computer desk along with a partially drank can of 7Up.

Needless to say I was freaked out but at least it was confirmed and everything was put together. I was pretty sure it was the ambien but I called my doctor on Monday and she told me to quit taking it. We decided to go without any sleep medication for a while but she'll put me on something else if I need it.

The Terry Therapy Sessions IV

I started the session but telling Terry about the sleep walking/eating. We had a good laugh about it.

I told her I had started thinking more about how I'm going to remain out of trouble once I'm off probation. I plan to fill my time with going to museums One place I like to go is my favorite coffee shop where I like to eat pizza and read or write. Plus I plan to return to Taping for the Blind and where I used to read books onto tape for blind people. A whole bunch of things that keep me from going out and drinking again.

One of the things we are trying to accomplish is change my thinking process about drinking once I'm free and clear. She wants me to remember the arrests, the misery I went through, the jail time and the future consequences if I get caught drinking and driving again. I told her how my sister's middle child, the five year old, just adores me. She said one of the things I might want to add to my thinking utilities is my nephews and how they view me. Do I want to be know as the uncle with the drinking problem or the uncle who had a drinking problem and beat it? Also do I want to be an negative influence again. There thinking is if Uncle Pope can drink let's go try it.

I also told her my plans to move back into the city from Arlen, TX. She said start looking for places now to help combat the depression and keep my mind busy toward my reward.

In addition to my plans to keep busy to stay out of trouble I told her that I want to use AA to create a new group of friends. One of my problems with AA is that most people don't like to get out and do things. Their whole life revolves around AA and the meetings. I can't live like that. However if I find a few friends that do like to do outside things then it will help occupy my time.

She agrees on my take on AA and she has her own take to. She says her problem with AA is the misery factor. That meetings consist mostly of people talking about how miserable they were drinking and how miserable they still are. The meetings don't focus on the positives of sobriety and inspirational tales. So while I'm using AA as a conduit it for a new social group that it's not really beneficial to just attend meetings to hear the tales of woe.

She also asked me how the overall anxiety is going. That is going better. I still get the anxieties of not having a ride to my probation officer and the counselor work assigned me to. Overall the anxiety levels have come down. Also no episodes of depression.

I told her also that I started to crunch the numbers to get an idea of how much money I might have when I turn 55. If I have enough I plan on retiring from my job at that point. My plans are if I'm not married or in a relationship to move back to my hometown. Also maybe take up a part time job like consulting in my field or something new that will allow me to travel but I still have a stream of income. Most of this is contingent though on having the company pension still in place or enough in my 401k. I'm really not counting on the pension being there but if it is it accelerates my retirement plans.

Then she dropped the bad news on me. Well sorta bad news. They are moving the practice. She gave me two options. We could continue our sessions over the phone or she could give me references for a new therapist. For now I decided to try the phone sessions and see how that goes. She still gave me a list of therapists in case I change my mind.

The Pope is getting fitted for a new day to day hate. The two I have are in bad shape. One is twelve years old and is worn and torn. I have no idea how old the red formal one is but it too is worn down. That leaves me with only one working hat and a Pope can not have such a limited choice.

So Hail Harry full of grapes and carpi diem, not to be confused with per diem,
Pope John Paul III