Nothing Special

Free wheeling thoughts this week. I was on vacation and visiting my family out of town. I had a nice relaxing time. The most strenuous thing I did was mow my mother's lawn. Other than I didn't do jack shit. It was good.

The big question on my mind was whether my sister's middle child still adored me. He does. I thought with school, soccer and new friend's he'd forget about his Uncle Pope. No he didn't. He came with my sister to pick me up and drive me back for the visit. His love to me is so unconditional it's unbelievable. I just own the moon for this kid. My sister says she runs a close second to me on who he loves most. It's great knowing someone cares for me so much.

Violet has been unusually quiet. Bad things happen when she's quiet. She's either found a new sucker or is going to show up on my doorstep in the next few months.

Rebecca and I still talk but she's about as useless as tits on a bull to my situation.

About the only time I spend with anyone on a regular basis is my old high school friend William. He's basically my version of Luca Brasi/Al Neri in his undying loyalty to me. Read the Godfather if you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Tomorrow I go see the substance abuse doctor who helped my lawyer build my case. He put me on a program to prove to the court that I wanted to was willing to quit drinking. When it all came to a head it worked. Tomorrow's visit is a follow up for what? I'm not sure but I'm going.

Finally, today I had a visit with my shrink. I was hoping she would changes my meds. I've been back to work for two month's now. I told her my anxieties and working. She says it's part of the adjustments in getting my life back on track. She set our visit for two months from now.

I have my Terry Therapy Session on Thursday. As I've written before I think it's going ok. The trust issues and the reaching out problem I'm working on right now. I still can't get over how much an effect dating Violet messed me up. That's some deep rooted issues there. The other thing Terry nailed on the head was my reaction on returning from vacation. She said I would be relaxed but be prepared to feel the anxieties of my problems on my return. Damn did I. I had the major meltdown the night I got back. I have to bring that up with her.

Well, I'm sleepy but needed to vent. Good night.